Seeing Through our Tears - Softcover

Bagby, Daniel G.

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0806637315 ISBN 13: 9780806637310

Publisher: Fortress Press, 1999

Synopsis

Why do we cry when we're angry? What can tears tell us about fatigue: Here is a book to enlighten and encourage all who struggle to understand their tears-as well as those people who care for them. Drawing on gripping case studies from his experiences as pastor, counselor, and professor, Daniel G. Bagby explores the language of tears. In successive chapters, the book probes beneath tears to uncover emotions and experiences that trigger them: anger, remorse, fatigue, fear, frustration, relief, loneliness, manipulation, and sorrow-as well as exploring times when we cannot cry. Bagby demonstrates how, when we come to understand and welcome our tears, they become cleansing agents that rid us of physical and psychic toxins, clear our inner vision, and point us to healing and wholeness.

About this title

About the Author

Pastor and Professional counselor Daniel G. Bagby is Professor of Pastoral Care at Baptist Theological Seminary/Richmond, Virginia. He is the author of Understanding Anger in the Church and Transition and Newness, as well as numerous articles on pastoral care and counseling.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

"Tears are one of the most expressive ways in which we communicate. We cry for many different reasons. From the moment we were born, our limited vocabulary required tears to express hunger, discomfort, or fatigue. From infancy through adulthood, tears are companions during some of the most difficult moments in our life. They often reveal what we cannot put into words.

"Tears were designed for every age in life. Though we have often misunderstood them to belong only to children, they have always been the language of the soul at every stage of living. Tears have celebrated our joys, stated our frustrations, and carried our grief. Tears have presided over the most significant moments in the human journey.

"And yet, for all their familiarity, our tears have also mystified and bewildered us. Shrouded in mystery and surprise, our tears have told us many tales and spoken many languages. Tears are never meaningless. Acquainted with our deepest longings and highest aspirations, tears have conveyed anger, ecstasy, fatigue, fear, loneliness, pain, relief, and joy. Tears clothe our hearts and souls with words; they share the language of our inner selves.

"Tears must therefore be understood. The rich variety of our tears requires interpretation. Our tears unveil the diversity of our emotions and the complexity of issues and values that impel us. To understand ourselves, we must understand our tears.

"That is why I have written this book. For years I have watched people cry and learned from the vocabulary of their tears. As a chaplain, counselor, minister, and teacher, I have come to value what tears tell us. In the following pages, I hope you will also come to understand and appreciate the gift of tears.

"It is not possible to describe all the meanings that our tears carry. The chapter divisions do not mean that our tears all have clearly defined purposes. Tears of anger, for example, may also contain frustration and fatigue. Tears of pain often carry sorrow. The following topical headings provide insight into some of the colorful and critical meanings of our tears:

Chapter 1: Tears of Anger. We need to understand the role of anger in our tears and to discover responsible ways to express the rage that sometimes stirs within us. We also need to understand how anger can be form of care.

Chapter 2: Tears of Confession. What function does self-confrontation and confession have in the development of tears. How doe we process remorse and regret in redemptive ways? How do we atone?

Chapter 3: Tears of Failure. How do we manage the reality of failure in life? How can we learn to find grace and hope to meet our imperfections?

Chapter 4: Tears of Fatigue. What part does exhaustion play in the issue of our tears? How can we become better stewards of our energy and opportunity?

Chapter 5: Tears of Fear. To what extent are we driven or controlled by anxieties and fears? How can we turn our vulnerability into strength?

Chapter 6: Tears of Frustration. To what degree do we manage the adversities of life so that they do not discourage or destroy us? How do we handle control and powerlessness in creative ways?

Chapter 7: Tears of Gratitude. Do we understand the tears that celebrate the unexpected good that surprises us in the midst of our sudden tragedies? Grace often brings tears of gladness during times of disaster.

Chapter 8: Tears of Loneliness. Isolation and alienation in relationships is a source of distress and disruption; how do we overcome our separation and emptiness?

Chapter 9: Tears of Manipulation. In what way do we try to evoke sympathy and pity, and how can we avoid using other people's feelings to gain affirmation and care? How do we learn to ask appropriately for what we need?

Chapter 10: Tears of Pain. How do we travel daily through chronic pain---and maintain hope? In what way is suffering instructive?

Chapter 11: Tears of Sorrow. We shed so many different tears for losses; how can we interpret the agony of tears born from sadness? How do we get past grief?

Chapter 12: When There Are No Tears. What does it mean when there are no tears? How do we wait creatively for tears---and our next dream?

The following pages are an introduction to the meaning of our tears. My hope is that each chapter may become a useful window through which we may see the world inside of us more clearly. I also hope that we will learn to value and affirm what we discover inside of us---for each of us, as I understand us, is made in the image of God. ---from the Introduction

Edition details

• Publisher: Fortress Press
• Publication date: 1999
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 0806637315
• ISBN 13: 9780806637310
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 160