This is How I Find Her - Hardcover

Polsky, Sara

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0807578770 ISBN 13: 9780807578773

Publisher: AW Teen, 2013

Synopsis

Sophie has always lived her life in the shadow of her mother's bipolar disorder: monitoring medication, making sure the rent is paid, rushing home after school instead of spending time with friends, and keeping secrets from everyone.

But when a suicide attempt lands Sophie's mother in the hospital, Sophie no longer has to watch over her. She moves in with her aunt, uncle, and cousin―a family she’s been estranged from for the past five years. Rolling her suitcase across town to her family's house is easy. What's harder is figuring out how to rebuild her life.

And as her mother’s release approaches and the old obligations loom, Sophie finds herself torn between her responsibilities toward her mother and her desire to live her own life, Sophie must decide what to do next.

About this title

About the Author

Sara Polsky works as a journalist and has published poetry and short fiction in magazines like Strange Horizons and Beyond the Wainscot. She lives in New York City. This is her first book.

From the Back Cover

Sixteen-year-old Sophie has always had to look out for her bipolar mother, but when her mother is hospitalized, Sophie realizes she needs to live her own life.

Reviews

Gr 9 Up–Sixteen-year-old Sophie is artistic, smart, and easygoing–a perfect daughter in an imperfect home. When she comes home from school to find her mother unconscious and sprawled out in their shared bedroom, a near-empty bottle of pills spilled nearby, Sophie's well-orchestrated world tips as she calls 911 and her difficult road to admission, acceptance, and looking for help begins. Sophie has been caring for Amy, who battles bipolar disorder, since she was 11. Nobody, not even Amy's sister, Aunt Cynthia, speaks about Amy's illness. Now as Amy recovers in the hospital, Sophie temporarily moves in with her aunt, uncle, and teenage cousin. She is shaken from the guilt of being unable to make Amy take her prescribed medication and the shame of what happens when she doesn't. Sophie is also devastated by her mother's actions. She wants to know  “how my mother could do this knowing I would be the one to find her…or whether she thought of me at all.” Sophie returns to school feigning an interest in friends and projects while constantly unsettled with worry, and readers see her struggle to adapt, adjust, and cope with her conflicted feelings, including, “the part of my life that's been better since my mother left.” Sophie's voice is unflinchingly honest and convincing. Amy is the catalyst but the story is all Sophie's. She is astute and courageous, daring to effect a satisfying and compassionate resolution. A difficult topic made approachable by well-crafted writing.–Alison Follos, formerly at North Country School, Lake Placid, NYα(c) Copyright 2013. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

Sixteen-year-old Sophie lives an insular life, caring for her mother who suffers from bipolar disorder. Then her mother attempts suicide, and Sophie is the one to discover her comatose body. Clinging to memories of her mother’s playfulness and affection, Sophie is determined that no one should learn the truth, lest they realize how Sophie has failed to protect her mother. She steadfastly believes that no one actually cares about her or her mother, despite evidence to the contrary. Over time, Sophie comes to realize that her impenetrable wall of solitude acts less as a protection from the judgment of others and more as a barrier against badly needed support. Told from Sophie’s point of view, this is a grim read for the first half of the book. Readers understand that Sophie is so mired in her own depression that she filters out gestures of kindness or friendship, which she misinterprets as hostile or insincere. While some readers may be deterred by the unrelenting heaviness of Sophie’s burdens, other teens will relate to Sophie’s alienation. Young people are too often de facto caretakers of their own parents, and this novel delivers a clear message: ask for help. An excellent recommendation for any teen burdened with adult responsibilities. Grades 8-11. --Diane Colson

Edition details

• Publisher: AW Teen
• Publication date: 2013
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 0807578770
• ISBN 13: 9780807578773
• Binding: Hardcover
• Number of pages: 272