From the several sorts of chocolate connoisseur-including the gourmoo, who eats only milk chocolate-to the several shapes of chocolate itself (bunny, kiss, glove compartment bar), Boynton's apologia for chocolate misses nothing. Myths are debunked: chocolate is not fattening, she argues, especially when the caloric expenditure of carrying it home from the store and hiding it from company is factored in. Directions are supplied: to remove stains, lick them. Plus, how to grow chocolate at home, a foolproof method for determining if chocolate is in season (does the name of the month contain the letter A, E, or U?), and a recipe for Hippo Pot de Mousse.
"Fourteen out of ten people like chocolate," says the artist. This is the only guide for people who like chocolate the way they like to breathe. Vanilla people, keep out. Selection of the Literary Guild.
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A crucial factor has been overlooked in this widespread condemnation of chocolate: Most chocolate eaters tend to supplement their chocolate intake with other foods. By what right, what logic can chocolate be singled out as the cause of plumpness? How can we be certain that, say, carrots are not a catalyst of weight-gain when chocolate is present?
And there is empirical evidence that also raises serious doubts about chocolate's fatteningness: Few chocolate lovers can simply lie back and wait for chocolate to come to them. For most, getting and keeping chocolate often requires strenuous physical work.
Myth No. 5 "Chocolate is nothing more than a substitute for affection."
Much has been made lately of the recent scientific finding that there is a chemical in chocolate-phenylethylamine-that is virtually identical to the substance manufactured by the brain of the infatuated individual. In various studies of the phenomenon,
As is too often the case with these social scientists, they are taking sound, highly suggestive data and drawing empirically absurd conclusions. What reasonable soul prefers romance to truffles?
Clearly it is not the lovelorn sufferer who seeks solace in chocolate, but rather the chocolate-deprived individual who, desperate, seeks in mere love a pale approximation of bittersweet euphoria.
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