Playing Well with Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities

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9780937609583: Playing Well with Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities

Whether you're a trembling novice or a jaded expert, there's always something new to be discovered in the endlessly changing, complex and titillating world of kink. While there are plenty of other books out there that explain how to give a spanking or tie a half-hitch, Playing Well With Others is the first book that explains kink *culture* -- the munches, parties, leather bars, conferences, workshops, fetish nights, exploratoriums and all the other gatherings of kinksters that turn BDSM and leather from a bedroom predilection to a lifestyle and a community. You'll learn to: * Examine your own motivations, needs, wants and desires * Ease your way into established communities * Understand etiquette in different adventurous sex communities * Familiarize yourself with the many types of events available to you * Care for your relationships as you explore new territory * Negotiate for play and aftercare * Go back to the "world at large without ruffling feathers * ...and, of course, answer the all-important question: What do you wear?! The team of Harrington and Williams offers 30-plus years of experience in diverse kink communities: top, bottom and switch; gay, bi and straight; female, male and trans; white and POC. Both former titleholders and international educators, they are an unbeatable pair of "sexual sherpas" with an inimitable voice and a great deal of wisdom. Playing Well With Others is an unprecedented and essential guidebook for anyone who wants to explore or understand the "community" aspect of the kink lifestyle.

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About the Author:

Lee Harrington is a passionate spiritual and erotic educator, gender explorer, eclectic artist and published author and editor on human sexuality and spiritual experience. Along his journey he has been a brainy academic, a female adult film performer (under his previous name Bridgett Harrington), a world class sexual adventurer, an outspoken philosopher, a long-time sexuality and spirituality blogger (since 1998), a spirit worker and priest, and an award winning writer and artist. Lee's essays, podcast, videos and more are available at passionandsoul.com.

Excerpt. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.:

Introduction Dark dungeons where chains rattle, bodies writhing in the shadows. Latex clad mistresses who entertain the most select clients who have found the one true way into their domains. Ancient traditions of leathermen passed down from man to man, available only to those willing to endure the trials of indoctrination... It's hot porn. If you want to keep dreaming that the world of BDSM, fetishism and kink is a scary place full of depraved taboos and grinning demons who will force you to do their bidding - PUT THIS BOOK DOWN NOW. Do you, instead, long to traverse and explore the many and varied gatherings within the alternative sexuality communities from a place of emotional, social, psychological and physical well-being? Then this book will help you discover the diversity of possibilities available, and make them a part of your life should you so choose. From munches to fetish balls, shopping excursions to public dungeons, fantasy retreats to intensive educational opportunities, there are many options nowadays. In your hands is a survival guide, complete with helpful tips and tricks, to support you as you explore, navigate and integrate yourself into this community, and make it your own. Curious about kink? Or perhaps highly experienced and looking for some tips to take your journey even deeper? Ready to dive in fully, or perhaps just take a peek? Here is a map to the terrain you hope to explore, and we are here to be your guiltless guides, your erotic assistants, your sexual Sherpas. This is the book we wish had been around when we began our own forays from private kinky sex to public, playful and profound perversion. With so much reference material, so many websites and resources detailing how to be kinky and enjoy diverse sexualities, how exactly do we meet others of our kind? It's about time we branched out and discussed how to play well with one another, how we build community, and how to have the best chance of success in our explorations.

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