Child Custody Made Simple: Understanding the Laws of Child Custody and Child Support - Softcover

Watnik, Webster

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0964940434 ISBN 13: 9780964940437

Publisher: Single Parent Pr, 2003

Synopsis

Discusses a variety of issues concerning child custody, including court structures, living arrangements, recommendations on avoiding court battles, and advice on working with lawyers.

About this title

About the Author

Originally from New Jersey, Watnik moved to southern California to become a writer. In 1992, he graduated from the University of Southern California with a Master’s in writing.

Watnik learned about family law when his ex-wife took him to court seeking sole custody of their son, Wyeth. During the decade-long battle that followed, Watnik wrote "Child Custody Made Simple" and two other divorce books. Watnik and his son live in Southern California.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Who Gets The Children?

When you divorce with children, that s the first question everyone asks. Depending on your situation, the answer can be simple or complex.

If you agree on an arrangement, then child custody is simple.

For example, Paul and Susan have two children. After six years of marriage, they decide to split up. During the marriage, Paul traveled on business while Susan worked part-time so she could stay home for the children. Paul and Susan separate on a cordial, friendly basis. They agree the children will stay with Susan during the weekdays and go to Paul s house on weekends.

That s it. Paul and Susan don t need lawyers, they don t need to go to court, and they don t need court orders. They can start following the schedule they created. For this couple, the answer is simple.

But suppose you don t agree on a custody arrangement. Then the answer can be complex.

Imagine LeAnn and Robert have one child. They never married. LeAnn wants child support from Robert, but Robert denies the child is his. LeAnn hires a lawyer, who prepares court papers and sends a copy to Robert. The court sets a hearing date, and LeAnn, her lawyer, and Robert show up. The judge orders Robert to submit to a paternity test. Robert cooperates, and the results come back that state with 99% certainty the child is his.

Robert then hires a lawyer and demands custody of the child. LeAnn doesn t want Robert to have custody, but she still wants child support. They have a short custody trial. At the end of the trial, the judge awards LeAnn custody and orders Robert to pay child support. However, Robert s lawyer appeals, and the decision awarding LeAnn custody is reversed. The case is sent back to the trial court for a second trial.

By now, LeAnn has run out of money and her lawyer drops her. At the second trial, she is forced to represent herself. This time, the judge decides the parents should have joint custody. Now, LeAnn and Robert are both unhappy, and they return to court criticizing each other. The judge orders them to attend co-parenting classes. They come back to court again. LeAnn accuses Robert of abusing the child. Robert denies it. The judge orders everyone to be evaluated by a psychologist and appoints a lawyer to represent the child. A social worker investigates. More hearings, more trials, and more custody orders follow.

See how it can become complex? Once LeAnn and Robert began going to court, they had to wait for their turn to voice their complaints. And even after the judge made a decision, neither parent liked it, and they returned to court again. All of this took time, a lot of money, and never brought the dispute to an end.

If there is one thing you learn from this book, here it is:

If you work out an agreement with the other parent, then child custody is simple. But if you cannot work out an agreement, then child custody can be complex.

Divorce With Children Roadmap

Though every family is different, here are some common milestones you may experience.

Separate

If you were living together whether married or not the divorce began when you separated. It can get complicated if you were not married and the father does not admit he is the father, or the father is unknown. But generally, most divorces begin when one parent moves out.

Negotiate

At first, you will try talking with your former spouse. Negotiation is common, and many parents never hire a lawyer but resolve custody issues on their own. Though you may have heard about high-conflict custody battles, those are rare. The most common result is that you and the other parent will somehow work it out.

Create a parenting plan

While many people agree to a vague, flexible arrangement, you may want to write out the details. This is called a parenting plan. If you create a formal parenting plan, you can insert all of the issues you want to address. Keep in mind, though, that if you want the court to turn your parenting plan into a formal order, the judge is not required to adopt everything you say, and can accept or reject the terms you create.

Use a mediator

If you want to work out issues with a third-party, you can work with a mediator, family counselor, or psychologist. In some states, you must meet with a mediator before the judge will listen your case. Of course, there is nothing stopping you from finding a professional on your own. Many parents choose to work our their differences in mediation.

Hire a lawyer

Because custody and support are legal issues, when you need help, you need to talk to a lawyer. While it s common in divorce cases for one, or both, parents to represent themselves, it s hard for a non-lawyer to know what to do. So if you have a legal problem, you may need to hire a lawyer.

Go to court

If you cannot reach an agreement, you have to go to court. The judge who handles custody and support has the authority to make all kinds of orders. Because resolving disagreements in court can be slow, expensive, and frustrating, only a small percentage of parents end up having a judge decide their custody disputes.

Difficult problems

Finally, for a very small group of parents, serious custody develop. These are the extreme cases where sexual abuse, domestic violence, kidnapping, and so on, are alleged or occur. Unfortunately, some divorces become a battle where the children become pawns and the parents fight endlessly. If it happens to you, keep in mind that these high-conflict cases are rare.

This roadmap is too simple to describe what will happen in your situation, but there is one thing you should know. After the divorce, you ll be doing just what you did before the divorce, somehow raising your children and trying to get along with your ex.

Edition details

• Publisher: Single Parent Pr
• Publication date: 2003
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 0964940434
• ISBN 13: 9780964940437
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 584