A Man's Field Guide to Dating - Softcover

Wray, Robert A.

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0966972309 ISBN 13: 9780966972306

Publisher: Netimage, 1999

Synopsis

Finally, the most comprehensive men's guide to dating ever written - authored by a man, for men. Twenty-seven chapters of relevant, practical advice presented in a lighthearted, entertaining and highly readable style. This helpful book provides a collection of ideas and advice culled from the dating experiences of many men - and women. It's aim is to help men develop social relationships and meet and enjoy the company of women.

About this title

About the Author

Bob Wray, author of A Man's Field Guide to Dating, is a talented and prolific modern-day Renaissance man.

A former classroom music teacher with degrees in music/voice and humanities, Bob has been a successful rock musician, a college IS instructor and a systems consultant and trainer for a number of Fortune 500 companies. In addition, he has written three college textbooks and a college course on dBASE progamming,used by over 200 colleges and universities.

Today Bob owns netImage, a publishing, Web design and electronic commerce firm in Camp Hill, PA. Single and the father of two college-age children, Bob spends his leisure time at the beach, playing guitar, working out, swing dancing and, of course, dating. He is currently at work on a dating guide for women.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Introduction

We like the term "conventional wisdom." It refers to the type of information you get from your friends at parties. "Hey Ed, I'm looking for a good PC. You're in the business. What do you think?" You will readily accept Ed's opinion - providing that you trust him. It saves you going through the agony of research and sales pitches. That's the spirit of this volume. There is no science here - just a collection of ideas and advice that seem to work for a lot of guys. We did our best to avoid moral judgments, except for the golden rule. You shouldn't do to any woman what you wouldn't do to your sister. (Did that come out right?) Most of it is common sense. Some of it you have heard before - sorry about that. We don't know what you don't know. We tried to include everything we could to help you improve your dating life. There is no magic and there are no secrets. Sometimes the problem is simply that you have overlooked some basic detail that prevents a woman from discovering what a terrific guy you really are. The devil is in the details. As men, it is not our nature to spend time, money and effort on our appearance and social behavior. Perhaps calling these things to your attention and offering simple solutions will increase your chances with women. What do you have to lose? As it happens, you will discover that working on your weak areas will improve your life in other ways as well. Heck, you might even get a raise or a better job.

This book is intended to assist men who seek to date women. We expect that it would be most helpful to heterosexual men who are approximately 20 to 60 years old. The ideas reflect current social practices between men and women in America, although they could extend to other cultures that are similar. The book does not address issues that may be specific to ethnic or religious populations such as Latinos, Muslims or some Asian cultures. While we respect the traditions and practices of other cultures, we do not pretend to have the experience or knowledge to address the dating behaviors of everyone. However, there are many general ideas and suggestions that may be useful to a broad cross-section of men. Younger men (under 20) or men that are not serious about forming social relationships with women will find very little of interest here. It is our hope that the information contained within will assist the millions of men and women who are struggling to complete this most important aspect of their lives - meeting and enjoying the company of the opposite sex. How Are You Doing?

The most likely reason things are not going all that well in your dating life is that you are probably a mismatch with the women you would like to date. What we mean is that you need to be or become the kind of person you would enjoy dating. This implies that you should know who you are. You may think that you know but that is not generally something you dwell on. Also, it is difficult to objectively look at oneself. You probably underrate yourself. Make an honest list of your most positive qualities without being openly modest. Are you intelligent? Energetic? Personable? Honest? Affectionate? Athletic? Be as complete as you can. Give yourself enough time to include everything. Be certain to write it down. If you have a close friend or relative that you trust, it would be beneficial if you could ask that person to review your list and make additions.

This exercise alone will begin to increase your confidence. Self-confidence is one of the most powerful attractions for the opposite sex. Women are not interested in men who appear weak or needy. If they are, it is because they are looking for someone to rescue. This is not a place that you want to be. You would be starting a relationship on a dysfunctional premise.

This confidence must be grounded in a set of beliefs and a value system. You must be convinced that you are searching for a worthy life partner who embodies the very best. This is an honest and noble quest. You don't want to hurt or deceive anyone. You know that someday you will succeed. It is just a matter of time. As you continue your search you will learn more about yourself, the nature of relationships and the opposite sex. You will eventually bring the value of this knowledge to your life partner. You will continue to work on your weak areas and make yourself even more desirable by eliminating objections. The longer this process takes, the more worthy and desirable the type of women you date will be. Time is not your enemy, it is on your side. Your confidence will feed itself as you grow.

You will find a wealth of valuable information in the following chapters. However, the ideas are useless in and of themselves. It is only when you commit yourself to action and success that anything will happen. Read the whole book through once. Then go back and begin to apply the ideas to your life as best you can. Resolve to continue your improvement. You are entitled to enjoy your role as a man. You are entitled to participate in the world of dating and relationships. You deserve to be happy. We are right behind you. Go for it.

Edition details

• Publisher: Netimage
• Publication date: 1999
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 0966972309
• ISBN 13: 9780966972306
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 450