Restoring Intimacy: The Patient's Guide to Maintaining Relationships During Depression - Softcover

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0967389305 ISBN 13: 9780967389301

Publisher: Natl Dmda, 1999

Synopsis

"Restoring Intimacy" was conceived as a comprehensive resource from experts on depression, both researchers and clinicians, as well as patients. The book answers questions submitted by people living with depression, as well as from their partners and family members. "Restoring Intimacy" addresses a variety of issues, including how to recognize depression in a loved one, how to cope with side effects of antidepressant medications that may affect sexual function, and how to talk with a doctor about depression-related intimacy problems. "Restoring Intimacy" also contains a resource and self-test section, guiding readers to additional information and support.

About this title

About the Author

The panel of contributors include:

* Drew Pinsky, M.D., Chief of Services at Las Encinas Hospital in Pasadena, California

* Anita H. Clayton, M.D., Associate Professor and Vice-Chair, Department of Psychiatric Medicine at the University of Virginia Health Sciences Center in Charlottesville, Virginia

* David L. Dunner, M.D., Professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences and Director of the Center for Anxiety and Depression at the University of Washington in Seattle

* Lauren Epstein Rosen, Ph.D., Supervisor of Family Therapy Training at the Columbia-Presbyterian Medical Center in New York

* Robert M.A. Hirschfeld, M.D., Professor and Chair of the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the University of Texas Medical Branch at Galveston

* Martha M. Manning, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist and author of Undercurrents: A Life Beneath the Surface

* Thomas N. Wise, M.D., Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Services at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, and Medical Director of Behavioral Services at Inova Health Systems, Falls Church, Virginia

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

SAMPLE QUESTIONS

How can I help my loved ones understand that what I'm going through isn't something I can just "snap out of? And how can I help them understand exactly what is going on inside?

It can be an extra challenge to have this conversation when you have depression. Here are some ideas: make a comparison between depression and other medical illnesses, like diabetes, chronic asthma, or heart disease. People don't tell others with these diseases to "snap out of it," why would they say it to someone with depression? Because we know depression can be as disabling as any of these other illnesses, it is important to seek treatment. And while you can be treated for it, there may occasionally be flare-ups that need more attention.

It is also helpful to ask them to read brochures, self-help books, and memoirs on the topic. You can also get videotapes of people talking about their own experiences with depression from mental health organizations (see the Resource section at the back of this book). When people realize that well-known people like Mike Wallace and Tipper Gore have suffered from depression, it can make a big impression. It can help validate your experience and put it into language they can understand. This can be very comforting for your loved ones. You can also invite them to a session with your therapist or doctor.

Dr. Martha Manning

I'm feeling more like myself since starting treatment for depression, but my relationship is still not the same. How can I feel close to my husband again?

This is a tricky question. The partner of a person with depression often experiences a good deal of distress too, and in order to manage those feelings, he or she withdraws from the patient. Your husband may find himself withdrawn or defensive, perhaps not trusting that your symptoms have been relieved. This is, of course, the very opposite of what you and your husband need.

It's very important for your husband to learn about depression, not blame himself, not feel hurt or less worthwhile, and not become angry and disconnected from you as you recover. Certainly these feelings are normal, but your husband needs to be encouraged to hang in as you begin to get well.

You may also feel uneasy in the relationship if you are concerned that your feelings may return to depression. You may be reluctant to be vulnerable or intimate for fear of being hurt or feeling anxiousmaybe triggering the unpleasant feeling you just got past.

It may be helpful to ask your husband to participate in couples therapy, where feelings and fears can be expressed in a safe manner. This can make a difference in your ultimate recovery from depression and the survival of your relationship.

It's a difficult challenge, and it takes a great deal of trust and self-awareness. Reestablishing intimacy is an essential part of human happiness, and extremely important for the treatment of depression.

-Dr. Drew Pinsky

Edition details

• Publisher: Natl Dmda
• Publication date: 1999
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 0967389305
• ISBN 13: 9780967389301
• Binding: Paperback
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 114
• Editor: National Dmda