Out & About: The Emancipated Crossdresser - Softcover

Leigh, Lacey

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0971668000 ISBN 13: 9780971668003

Publisher: Double Star Press, a division, 2002

Synopsis

“Out & About” is an intelligent, fresh, and light-hearted look at crossdressing. Ms. Leigh writes, with no psychological mumbo-jumbo, to enlighten and encourage crossdressers ultimately to dump their guilt, shame, and denial so they may finally and fully express their feminine attributes in taste and style.

"Out & About" was recently selected for inclusion in the assortment of books distributed to public and scholastic libraries by Tri-Ess, the international sorority for heterosexual crossdressers.

This book (160 pages, soft cover, perfect bound, lots of photos and illustrations) is also an ideal resource for outreach as well as an introduction for wives and significant others. It includes how-to chapters on femme essentials, shopping, photography, dining, travel, and much more.

Lacey stresses that a crossdresser's mindset is a prime factor and suggests a simple formula for gaining a positive attitude:

Accept yourself - denial doesn't work;
Assert yourself - you deserve the best;
Allow yourself - to enjoy your new freedom.

About this title

About the Author

Lacey Leigh (obviously her femme nom de plume) is a 32-years happily married heterosexual crossdresser who is also a father of two young adults, a Vietnam veteran, a pilot, an expert pistol marksman, and a corporate spokesperson. She surprises most people by being ideologically conservative, believing that the best path for progress is not through confrontation or legislation, but in changing one mind at a time by providing a cheerful personal example. She doesn't restrict her social life to "transgender friendly" establishments but instead enjoys many of the finer things in life (dining, theatre, travel, shopping!) as any other woman would - with a smile on her face and joy in her heart.

Although she refuses to document her age, Lacey has been heard to reminice that when she was young, rainbows were in black and white, Burger King was still a prince, and Elvis was alive for the *first* time.

Ms. Leigh is in the process of writing the sequel to "Out & About" and most of her time at the keyboard is spent with one of several cats in her lap.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Introduction

It s difficult to believe that the two crossdressers pictured on the opposite page are actually the same person. Me.

The difference is much greater than a few years and dress sizes. What magic transformed a glum, pasty-faced caricature of femininity into a smiling, confident woman of the new millennium?

Obviously, it wasn t because I quit crossdressing or lost my passion for zebra stripes. The changes you see on the outside mirror the differences of attitude and emotion on the inside. I moved from oppression to liberation. I shrugged off the heavy burden of guilt, cast aside the shackles of shame, and ended a lifetime of denial. I cracked open my closet door, let in the light, and embraced the priceless gift of self-acceptance.

I became an emancipated crossdresser.

Not so long ago, I was the person on the left, affecting a cheap, trampy look and an ill tempered demeanor which perfectly reflected what I felt like on the inside. Growing up amid a culture in which this variance from the norm is not tolerated and often pathologized will do that to you. Without really being aware of it, I had absorbed society s attitudes which considered me a sissy , a pervert , and an abomination . Like most other crossdressers, I became shameful and self-loathing, possessing enough guilt (the gift which keeps on giving) to start my own religion.

It was more comfortable to conform to society s expectations than to question them; it was safer to keep myself hidden than to risk the inevitable disapproval and ostracism; it was less painful to deny my inner identity than to express it. My culture told me such expression was sick, deviant, and forbidden; there are no Boy Scout merit badges for crossdressing. Years of earnest yet unsuccessful attempts to suppress it only succeeded in kindling an enormous frustration because of my inability to gain control. Anger often erupted to lash out at those closest to me. I felt powerless, beaten - alone.

Not long ago, I connected to the Internet, keyed in the magic word transvestite, and watched a surprising wealth of information flow onto my computer screen. Some of it attested to the lowest common denominator of human behavior but there were nuggets amid the slurry. I discovered there were some tens of thousands of other crossdressers across the country and around the world who were just like me. I devoured their websites, read their stories, and viewed their photos. I saw young guys with girlfriends, mature husbands with wives and families, and older men with loving grandkids; all of them otherwise unremarkable; all of them, men in dresses. Suddenly, I was no longer alone.

Then I subscribed to alt.support.crossdressing, an Internet newsgroup which was a free-for-all forum for thought, ideas, argument, flaming, and - occasionally - support. After typing my first response to a message which had been posted there, I must have sat with my finger poised over the enter key for half an hour before I worked up the courage to press it. The result was that I became an involved participant in those spirited debates.

One of the regulars who held court in that cyber community was a curmudgeonly Canadian activist whose mission seemed to be one of rubbing us raw with the revolutionary idea of self acceptance and then picking at the scabs of those wounds so they wouldn t scar; sort of a tough love approach. It worked. She, and countless supportive others, led, pushed, cajoled, bullied, and harassed me into thinking clearly about all this for the first time. Soon, I stopped hating myself.I was actually surprised when my application for membership was approved. Finally, I belonged!

It is with the zeal of a fairly recent convert that I ve written this book. It s for men who enjoy looking and dressing like women and are tired of beating themselves up over it. In many ways it is an account of my own journey out of that proverbial closet (the perfect metaphor; a dark, confining, airless, solitary space) to a place of self-acceptance. It s my hope that these pages will provide the enlightenment, encouragement, and example which others can use to pry open their own closet doors.

You don t need to become a literature-distributing political zealot or a preaching, street marching, letter writing activist.

It is not necessary for any crossdresser to be out at all, except to himself. Some emancipated crossdressers go public in a big way. Others choose to keep this facet of their personalities as private as many other parts of their lives. The key is that each has made an informed choice to do so, after considering the options, not just in mindless aversion of the imagined consequences. Imagined; because most of the terrible reactions we anticipate are but phantoms of our inner fear. Fear is the tax that conscience pays to guilt, so the solution is simple; lose the guilt and stop allowing others to define you!

While this book shares helpful ideas on the external mechanics of the feminine mystique, the most important lessons to be learned are internal:

Accept yourself - denial doesn t work;
Assert yourself - you deserve the best;
Allow yourself - to enjoy your new freedom.

With a simple acknowledgment of self and spirit come an incredible freedom and a new balance in life. The emancipated crossdresser has given himself permission to partake of this gift of gender and is ready to experience anew all the world has to offer. Suddenly, colors are more vibrant, music is more resonant, tastes are more sumptuous, textures are richer, fragrances are sharper, feelings are deeper - and life is more meaningful.

An abundance of riches is yours for the taking, requiring only a simple declaration of identity. Imagine for a moment, someone accusing in their most disapproving voice, You re a crossdresser!

Now imagine yourself replying with a smile, So?

Really, that s about all there is to it. Let s go shopping!

Hugs,

Lacey Leigh

Edition details

• Publisher: Double Star Press, a division
• Publication date: 2002
• ISBN 10: 0971668000
• ISBN 13: 9780971668003
• Binding: Paperback
• Edition number: 2
• Number of pages: 160