Inside of Me: Lessons of Lust, Love and Redemption - Softcover

Shellie R. Warren; Foreword By India Arie

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0974694223 ISBN 13: 9780974694221

Publisher: Relevant Books, 2001

Synopsis

Although born and raised in the church, Shellie Warren became a victim and survivor of sexual abuse, low self-esteem, rape, promiscuity and co-dependency. After multiple abortions and deep depression, she found healing, reconcilation and recovery in God. As she shares her pain, discoveries and triumphs, she draws young women who are dealing with sexual misuse to a place where they can be real and find wholeness and healing.

About this title

About the Author

A former spokesperson for Miss Black USA, Inc. Shellie R. Warren is a full-time writer and speaker on "sexual misuse," a phrase she coined to describe any sexual relationship outside of marriage. She has been published in over three-dozen publications including Honey Magazine, Upscale Magazine, CCM, Gospel Today, b-gyrl.com, DOE Network and NV Magazine. Warren, who was named Miss Woman of Color 2002, is also a spoken word artist and is featured on b-gyrl.com s compilation, The Lyristcess Lounge and Gotee artist, GRITS latest release, Dichotomy A. She lives in Nashville, TN.

From the Inside Flap

FROM THE FOREWORD Inside of Me is both a powerful voice and a powerful tool for those of us in the process of releasing fear and learning to love again. I believe this book gives a voice to those who haven't yet found their own. Even if you can't put your words together just yet, the universe hears you. This book reveals that none of us are alone in are experiences of sexual abuse, and "misuse." India.Arie, singer and songwriter

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

I planned on being a virgin on my wedding day. Well, that s mostly true. The real truth is that while I wasn t sure if I could wait long enough to boldly wear white as I walked down the aisle, I definitely did not intend on knowing more than one person intimately figuratively, literally, or biblically. Have you ever heard what they say about the road to hell? Let s just say that intentions simply aren t good enough.

See, because I came from a long line of divorcers and divorcees, unlike many of my Christian private school peers with whom I attended high school, I had no intentions of exchanging my cap and gown for a veil and bouquet immediately following graduation; this meant that my physical desires, which I was told were natural, had to be put on reserve until I met and married "the one." That was the way I was taught, and so that is what I believed. But when it came to sex and relationships, that was about all I knew for sure until about a year before I decided to write this book. Up until now, I thought I was mature enough to handle a lot of what I m about to share with you. Age no matter how legal you may think it makes you isn t everything.

I know, I know. There is something mind-boggling about being eighteen. Suddenly you think that just because you can vote, you are mature enough to handle all of life s adult decisions. The thing is, while thanks to puberty your body may tell one story, your mind is lagging somewhere between "Mom, I should be able to do whatever I want" and "Every time I make a mistake, I m expecting a bigger, more experienced adult (my mom) to pick up the pieces." Yes, being a young adult brings forth blatant contradictions, especially when it comes to processing romantic relationships.

For me, because I had seen so many people do marriage the wrong way, I knew a successful one required more than two people who shared the same last name and bed. There had to be money to pay bills, compatibility to get along, and a desire to help one another fulfill their destiny in life. Raging hormones and the best off-camera impression of a couple from a favorite chick flick wasn t going to cut it on even the best day.

That wasn t to say that marriage didn t have some perks that piqued my interest, to put it mildly; however having a balanced frame of mind was not my strong suit mostly because so much of my childhood was imbalanced in so many ways, especially socially and emotionally. While I was wise enough to know I was not ready for the responsibilities of marriage, I was so needy for affection especially from the male gender that I was willing to put myself in harm s way to partake of marriage s privileges. Patience was a virtue I thought I couldn t afford and as a result, I paid a high price, but it started way before I lost my virginity (well, gave it away. I know where it went).

Edition details

• Publisher: Relevant Books
• Publication date: 2001
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 0974694223
• ISBN 13: 9780974694221
• Binding: Paperback
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 176