Why Me? Help for Victims of Child Sexual Abuse (Even If They Are Adults Now), Fourth Edition - Softcover

Lynn Daugherty

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0977161439 ISBN 13: 9780977161430

Publisher: Cleanan Press, Inc., 2007

Synopsis

"A good simple, beginning book for child, teen, and adult survivors" - authors Ellen Bass and Laura Davis describing Why Me? Help for Victims of Child Sexual Abuse in their groundbreaking book for abuse victims, The Courage To Heal.

"As well as helping victims, it is also a book for people who want to learn more about child sexual abuse" - Adrian Ford, Senior Social Worker at The Children's Hospital, Camperdown, NSW, Australia writing in her introduction to the Australian edition of Why Me? Help for Victims of Child Sexual Abuse. 
  
Adults and adolescents who were sexually abused as children find help and healing in this classic bestseller from a respected Clinical Psychologist. Now in its fourth edition, this warm and personal, beginning guide gives you . . .
 
- answers to child sexual abuse questions
- stories of male and female victims
- insights into sexual abusers
- explanations of effects on victims
- step-by-step guidance to begin your recovery
- resources for additional assistance
 
Understand important psychological concepts easily because they are presented in clear, everyday language. Feel understood and valued as you begin healing from the pain of child sexual abuse with this classic bestseller.
 
> Honored as an Editor's Choice Selection by Booklist
> Over 60,000 copies sold worldwide
> Recommended reading by support groups from New Jersey to Alaska, Scotland to The Netherlands to Fiji

About this title

About the Author

Clinical psychologist Dr. Lynn Daugherty is an award-winning author of the classic bestseller Why Me? Help for Victims of Child Sexual Abuse, now in its 4th edition, and Child Molesters, Child Rapists, and Child Sexual Abuse, as well as Voices of Survivors and Listening and Talking to Your Sexually Abused Child.  An internationally respected expert on child sexual abuse, she has been bringing hope and healing to victims and their families for more than twenty-five years.

Although working with abuse victims has been her specialty, Dr. Daugherty has also focused on treating children and adults with brain injuries or ADHD, helping teachers understand and manage the behavior or their students, and providing services to attorneys and the courts in the area of forensic psychology.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

THE ABUSE WAS NOT YOUR FAULT

The most important thing for you, the victim, to remember is that total responsibility for the abuse lies with the abuser. This is even true if you enjoyed some of what happened. This is true even if the abuser says the abuse was your fault. This is true even if you received special rewards because of the abuse. This is true even if you did not try hard enough to make the abuse stop.

It was not your fault if someone tricked, trapped, bribed or forced you into sexual contact. If someone touches a child in a sexual way and the child does not stop the contact for whatever reason, it is not the child's fault.

Most children assume they are guilty for being sexually abused. When the sexual abuse is discovered, it often causes a crisis in the family. Most children then assume that this crisis is also their fault and feel guilty for the crisis too. They think, "I must have done something terribly wrong." Again, this is not true. Total responsibility for the abuse and for any crisis that results lies with the abuser.

The person who sexually abuses a child has serious psychological problems and needs help. The child was the victim of the abuser's problems. The abuser chose to harm the child to meet his or her own needs.

Abusers are usually older and more powerful than their child victims. The child has the right to expect protection, not abuse, from the abuser. When a child is abused, he or she has the right to tell others about the sexual abuse. The abuser, not the child, must assume full responsibility for any disruption that takes place because the sexual abuse was reported.

Do you feel guilty in any way about the sexual abuse you suffered or about anything that happened afterwards? Do you have feelings that the sexual abuse was your fault? Do you feel guilty for any of the things you did to stop the abuse? Do you feel guilty for any of the things that happened to your family or to the abuser? For exactly which things do you feel guilty?

FEELING GUILTY DOES NOT MAKE IT TRUE

Just because you feelguilty doesn't make it true! You can change the way you feel by changing the things you tell yourself. If you tell yourself that the sexual abuse was your fault, then of course, you will feel bad. So stop telling yourself something that isn't true, something that is inaccurate!

The sexual abuse was not your fault. You know that now. Keep pointing this out to yourself whenever you notice feelings of guilt. Argue with yourself! Once you truly accept the fact that you were the victim and not the person responsible for the abuse, you can stop feeling guilty about being abused.

~ ~ ~

A FINAL WORD: From Victim to Survivor

You were once a victim of child sexual abuse. In some ways this has made you stronger. In other ways it has made life more difficult for you. This book has discussed a number of things you can do to recover from the negative effects of child sexual abuse and has helped you start on your journey.

Now it is up to you to make the changes in your life that you desire. You may do this on your own, or you may seek the help of a professional counselor. You can change the way you think, feel and act.

You are no longer a powerless victim. You have the ability to make your own choices. You can, and must, decide how you will live the rest of your life.

Edition details

• Publisher: Cleanan Press, Inc.
• Publication date: 2007
• ISBN 10: 0977161439
• ISBN 13: 9780977161430
• Binding: Paperback
• Language: English
• Edition number: 4
• Number of pages: 128