Outsmarting Anger: 7 Strategies for Defusing Our Most Dangerous Emotion - Hardcover

Shrand, Joseph; Devine, Leigh

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 1118135482 ISBN 13: 9781118135488

Publisher: Jossey-Bass, 2013

Synopsis

Surefire strategies for transforming anger in yourself and others In this must-have resource, Dr. Joseph Shrand offers seven innovative yet remarkably uncomplicated strategies to help turn powerful anger impulses into positive, success-oriented actions. These brain-based techniques teach you how to recognize the many forms of anger we all experience, and how to tap into your brain's very own anger absorption zone the prefrontal cortex. Dr. Shrand also explores the ways these techniques can be used to harness the anger of others. When we learn to recognize and defuse the anger response of any individual, we improve our chances for success in every aspect of life.

• Explains how the power of anger can be turned into much more productive behaviors
• Outlines 7 simple strategies for outsmarting the lizard brain and the primitive limbic system
• Published in partnership with Harvard Health publications, a division of Harvard Medical School

Outsmarting Anger helps you manage and decrease not only your own anger, but the anger of people around you so everyone can be more successful.

About this title

Review

5 Tips to Transform Another Person’s Anger Impulse

In Outsmarting Anger you’ll be learning how it’s not just your own anger that gets in the way of success, but someone else’s.

Add A Thank You To Your Day

It sounds so simple. Without even thinking twice we thank the bank teller, the waiter, the teacher, the boss, and they thank us. But think about when someone doesn’t thank you, when those two words don’t appear. It feels pretty strange, almost like we’re invisible, or that our very presence isn’t valued. Someone who doesn’t say thank you is instantly classified as “rude.” That’s how important it is to remember those words. Try adding a few thank yous to your day- even to those you don’t have to thank but who really deserve it like the street cleaner, the intern, and the parking lot attendant. When you value others, it’s like taking a fire hose to feelings of anger.

Talk in Line

Nothing causes the feeling of common frustration and more than a disorganized line at restaurant or place of service. We have in our evolutionary DNA both the need to get to resources first and an innate sense of fairness. When someone cuts in line, people get angry. If you’re the last to arrive and don’t know where the line is, you will be helping calm everyone’s anger impulse by speaking up to establish where the line is and going to the end of it. You can even make a joke, “Wow, you’d think they’re giving them away today!” As fans of these awesome bagels, you already have a lot in common.

Remove Your Shades

Those fancy designer sunglasses probably make you feel like the coolest looking person on the planet. They ought to; you spent the big bucks on ‘em. But when you don’t show your eyes to the person with whom you’re interacting, you are sending a very subtle but clear message of disrespect, as if they’re not worthy of your glance. And what’s worse, when a person cannot see your eyes, they can’t gauge your intent or level of sincerity. Consequently, you’ve communicated to them that you are not trustworthy. When you are not trusted, you tend to breed mistrust or suspicion, a perfect kindling for anger.

Smile

Who are you more likely to want to meet, let alone trust? The person who walks around the office avoiding eye contact and scowling, or the person who walks by you and gives you a warm and respectful smile? Studies show that the person who smiles is perceived by others as calm, happy, and confident – the kind of person most of us are already attracted to. But on a deeper level, they’re also the one who’s least likely to be seen as a threat to your safety. The safer you feel, the less frightened or angry you feel. So when you smile at someone, you’re signaling to them that you are safe and they can relax their suspicion and anger radar around you.

Boast Less

We live in a society that is always telling us to “toot your own horn” to get ahead. But actually, boasting about a new home, sports car, or raise, is unlikely to win you lasting admiration. When you brag, in fact you’re kick starting a human tendency to feel envy, a close cousin of anger. You run the risk of making others want what you have and resent you for having it instead of them. It’s not their fault. People are just wired this way. But now you know how you can influence others and keep them less angry at you, and less angry in general. Mum’s the word on those Red Sox Box Seats.

From the Back Cover

Praise for Outsmarting Anger

"Outsmarting Anger is vibrant, comprehensive, and smart—an in-depth exploration that's an easy read, practical, and, most important, helpful."
—Samuel Shem, MD, PhD, author, The House of God and The Spirit of the Place

"Joe Shrand's unique and brilliantly organized perspective on perhaps the most primitive yet mysterious of human emotions is an essential read for anyone faced with taming anger that emanates either from within or without."
—Eric J. Parker, trial lawyer and managing partner, Parker Scheer LLP, Boston

"In Outsmarting Anger, Dr. Joseph Shrand expresses brilliantly the causes of this most disturbing human emotion and explains how we can all try to control it and even sometimes benefit from it."
—Philip W. Johnston, former New England administrator for the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

"Combining an accessible translation of contemporary neuroscience, maturity as a seasoned clinician, good ole common sense, and straight talk, Joe Shrand has written a practical guide to help defuse the destructiveness of anger—ours as much as others'."
—Andres Martin, MD, MPH, editor-in-chief, Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry

Edition details

• Publisher: Jossey-Bass
• Publication date: 2013
• ISBN 10: 1118135482
• ISBN 13: 9781118135488
• Binding: Hardcover
• Language: English
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 256