Kama Pootra: 52 Mind-Blowing Ways to Poop

3.84 avg rating
( 99 ratings by Goodreads )
 
9781402237140: Kama Pootra: 52 Mind-Blowing Ways to Poop

52 Mind-Blowing Ways to Poop

The only known translation of an ancient manual instructing readers in the art of enlightened bathroom experience, the Kama Pootra offers a thrilling rediscovery of the tiled path to porcelain nirvana.

Willing seekers will find fifty-two progressive positions designed to maximize how you do number two.

Every time the bathroom door closes, a new experience awaits.

"synopsis" may belong to another edition of this title.

About the Author:

Daniel Cole Young is a former radio contest writer who works as a consultant for major Hollywood studios. Young earned degrees in Computer Science and French at UC Davis and studied abroad in Paris and Grenoble.

Excerpt. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.:

From Solo:

The Kama Pootra begins as a personal study of reflection and meditation. Before one can understand the Kama Pootra, he must possess an open mind freed from any preconceived notions about bathroom behavior. The positions presented in this chapter are intended for the student alone. To begin, familiarize yourself with your surroundings: the coolness of a porcelain toilet, the contours of a tiled floor, the silken touch of toilet paper. Survey your anatomy with a close examination of what Arthur Rimbaud, the nineteenth-century French poet, referred to as the "enticing olive."* If you have never seen yourself in stark detail, try crouching over a carefully angled hand mirror.

Once you have an understanding of your body type and anatomy, you may begin to try the basic positions of the Kama Pootra. It is certain that some of these tasks may be uncomfortable at first, but remember that hard work is always plentifully rewarded in the bathroom.

The Gold Standard

The Gold Standard is the foundation for all poop studies included in this book. When boys and girls enter into bathroom maturity-a good number by age three and some prodigious children as early as six months-this basic position is the first pose taught in Western toilet centric cultures. It is remarkable for its simplicity and undemanding physical nature. A famous Zimbabwean proverb stipulates, "If you can speak, you can sing. If you can walk, you can dance." Likewise: if you can sit, you can poop.

The Thinker

This is the premier position for deep contemplation. Many of the great philosophers in history used bathroom time to formulate theories about human nature. Take time to ponder life's greatest questions:

· What is the source of my happiness?

· Am I eating healthy enough?

· When did I eat so much corn?

90 Degrees

This position utilizes the full curvature of the toilet seat for a more well-rounded experience. Students with larger bottoms (water buffalo or elephants) will find that the 90 Degrees position is more comfortable because additional width is afforded by sitting perpendicular. This position is also useful for unsecured restrooms in that it allows greater options to observe the door directly.

The Lotus

This position is achieved by intertwining the legs upon the toilet seat to gain what the maharishis call "toilet levitation." The Lotus position is an excellent way to meditate and release the stresses and anxieties that build up from a modern caloric intake. Meditation in concert with a full release can elevate the consciousness to a plane approaching bathroom nirvana.

The Reverse

The Reverse position offers the student a new perspective of the bathroom, a 180, if you will, from the traditional positions of the Kama Pootra. By simply turning around from the standard position, the back is given a free range of motion should the student need to lean back or contort herself. From this position one can assume complete control of the toilet. A "drop and flush" maneuver can be completed in one fluid motion as the toilet is brought under quick and easy control.

The Breast Exam

An important aspect of the Kama Pootra is maintaining a healthy body. The Kama Pootra views the physical body as a sacred poop vault that must not be neglected. Harboring toxins and illness impairs the ability to harness maximum pleasure from a healthy poop experience. Maintaining a clean lifestyle and routinely performing self-screenings are simple proactive ways to retain the Kama Pootra's full potential. While the most dangerous foe of the Kama Pootra is no doubt colon cancer, women should use this position at least once a month to check for unexpected lumps and hard masses. Your next poop may save your life

The Airplane Crash

This position is fashioned after the airplane safety manual, which-in the event of a crash-advises that the head should be placed between the legs, arms interlocked under the knees. If needed, grab your ankles for leverage as you anxiously proceed in making a water landing.

"About this title" may belong to another edition of this title.

Buy New View Book
List Price: US$ 10.99
US$ 7.19

Convert Currency

Shipping: FREE
From United Kingdom to U.S.A.

Destination, Rates & Speeds

Add to Basket

Top Search Results from the AbeBooks Marketplace

1.

Daniel Cole Young
Published by Sourcebooks, Inc, United States (2010)
ISBN 10: 1402237146 ISBN 13: 9781402237140
New Hardcover Quantity Available: 10
Seller:
The Book Depository
(London, United Kingdom)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Sourcebooks, Inc, United States, 2010. Hardback. Book Condition: New. Language: English . Brand New Book. Kama Pootra offers readers a compendium of 52 poop positions , with thoughtful tips and clever illustrations done in the style of airline safety instructions. Bookseller Inventory # AA99781402237140

More Information About This Seller | Ask Bookseller a Question

Buy New
US$ 7.19
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: FREE
From United Kingdom to U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

2.

Daniel Cole Young
Published by Sourcebooks, Inc, United States (2010)
ISBN 10: 1402237146 ISBN 13: 9781402237140
New Hardcover Quantity Available: 10
Seller:
The Book Depository US
(London, United Kingdom)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Sourcebooks, Inc, United States, 2010. Hardback. Book Condition: New. Language: English . Brand New Book. Kama Pootra offers readers a compendium of 52 poop positions , with thoughtful tips and clever illustrations done in the style of airline safety instructions. Bookseller Inventory # AA99781402237140

More Information About This Seller | Ask Bookseller a Question

Buy New
US$ 9.48
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: FREE
From United Kingdom to U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

3.

Young, Daniel Cole
ISBN 10: 1402237146 ISBN 13: 9781402237140
New Quantity Available: 5
Seller:
Pbshop
(Wood Dale, IL, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description 2010. HRD. Book Condition: New. New Book.Shipped from US within 10 to 14 business days. Established seller since 2000. Bookseller Inventory # IB-9781402237140

More Information About This Seller | Ask Bookseller a Question

Buy New
US$ 5.65
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 3.99
Within U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

4.

Young, Daniel Cole
Published by Sourcebooks 5/1/2010 (2010)
ISBN 10: 1402237146 ISBN 13: 9781402237140
New Hardcover Quantity Available: 10
Seller:
BargainBookStores
(Grand Rapids, MI, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Sourcebooks 5/1/2010, 2010. Hardback or Cased Book. Book Condition: New. Kama Pootra: 52 Mind-Blowing Ways to Poop. Book. Bookseller Inventory # BBS-9781402237140

More Information About This Seller | Ask Bookseller a Question

Buy New
US$ 10.21
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: FREE
Within U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

5.

Young, Daniel Cole
Published by Sourcebooks (2010)
ISBN 10: 1402237146 ISBN 13: 9781402237140
New Hardcover Quantity Available: 4
Seller:
Murray Media
(North Miami Beach, FL, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Sourcebooks, 2010. Hardcover. Book Condition: New. Never used!. Bookseller Inventory # 1402237146

More Information About This Seller | Ask Bookseller a Question

Buy New
US$ 8.39
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 1.99
Within U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

6.

Young, Daniel Cole
Published by Sourcebooks
ISBN 10: 1402237146 ISBN 13: 9781402237140
New Hardcover Quantity Available: 1
Seller:
Booklot COM LLC
(Philadelphia, PA, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Sourcebooks. Hardcover. Book Condition: New. 1402237146. Bookseller Inventory # Z1402237146ZN

More Information About This Seller | Ask Bookseller a Question

Buy New
US$ 10.65
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: FREE
Within U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

7.

Young, Daniel Cole
Published by Sourcebooks (2010)
ISBN 10: 1402237146 ISBN 13: 9781402237140
New Hardcover Quantity Available: 4
Seller:
Save With Sam
(North Miami, FL, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Sourcebooks, 2010. Hardcover. Book Condition: New. Brand New!. Bookseller Inventory # 1402237146

More Information About This Seller | Ask Bookseller a Question

Buy New
US$ 7.69
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 3.00
Within U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

8.

Young, Daniel Cole
Published by Sourcebooks
ISBN 10: 1402237146 ISBN 13: 9781402237140
New Hardcover Quantity Available: 10
Seller:
Lakeside Books
(Benton Harbor, MI, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Sourcebooks. Hardcover. Book Condition: New. 1402237146 Brand New From The Publisher! Not Marked Up Remainders or Shelf Worn Overstocks!. Bookseller Inventory # OTF-S-9781402237140

More Information About This Seller | Ask Bookseller a Question

Buy New
US$ 7.77
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 3.99
Within U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

9.

Daniel Cole Young
Published by Sourcebooks, Inc (2010)
ISBN 10: 1402237146 ISBN 13: 9781402237140
New Hardcover Quantity Available: 1
Seller:
Rating
[?]

Book Description Sourcebooks, Inc, 2010. Book Condition: New. Bookseller Inventory # EH9781402237140

More Information About This Seller | Ask Bookseller a Question

Buy New
US$ 8.45
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: US$ 3.51
From Germany to U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

10.

Daniel Cole Young
ISBN 10: 1402237146 ISBN 13: 9781402237140
New Hardcover Quantity Available: 1
Seller:
Grand Eagle Retail
(Wilmington, DE, U.S.A.)
Rating
[?]

Book Description Hardcover. Book Condition: New. Hardcover. predisposed toward potty humour. The Kama Pootra offers a thrilling rediscovery of the tiled path to porcelain nirvana.Shipping may be from multiple locations in the US or from the UK, depending on stock availability. 115 pages. 0.280. Bookseller Inventory # 9781402237140

More Information About This Seller | Ask Bookseller a Question

Buy New
US$ 13.29
Convert Currency

Add to Basket

Shipping: FREE
Within U.S.A.
Destination, Rates & Speeds

There are more copies of this book

View all search results for this book