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Starred Review. You have to love a self-help book that extols doing nothing: The truth is, says Gottlieb, if we become comfortable with who we are rather than who we think we should be, then we will be less insecure. As a therapist, Gottlieb frequently sees people who are convinced that changing themselves or their circumstances would lead to happiness. Gottlieb disagrees. A columnist for the Philadelphia Inquirer and author of Letters to Sam (addressed to his autistic grandson), Gottlieb also happens to be quadriplegic, which makes him somewhat of an expert in self-acceptance. And while he says his condition has taught him to listen, learn and care deeply, one senses Gottlieb is a born mensch and a man with a big heart. Warm, wise, compassionate, humble and often funny, he displays not a shred of self-pity or false modesty. Best of all, his message has the unmistakable ring of truth to it: love rather than change yourself or anyone else. Trying to change others is about intolerance, which is at the core of so much enmity. We cannot find peace unless we are trying to help others find peace also. (Mar.)
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