Don't Forget Your Keys: Each Key Holds the Power to Your Career Advancement - Softcover

Bergstrom, Barbara B.

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1426930887 ISBN 13: 9781426930881

Publisher: Trafford Pub, 2010

Synopsis

You are being evaluated on factors that go beyond your technical abilities, personality or past performance. To get through certain doors, you need to know how to communicate and perform confidently in any situation.

Barbara B. Bergstrom, a recognized authority on executive presence and international protocol, knows how to succeed. Every week, business executives throughout the country read her syndicated column, "Executive Etiquette," to gain advantages over their competitors. Now you can also benefit from her insider knowledge.

Get ready to discover:

• Why doors only open for some people
• How to determine the right thing to say
• Leadership-building techniques
• The power of professional packaging
• And most importantly - how to acquire the right keys

You choose your behavior so you determine the consequences. Make a conscious decision to join the successful people who are unlocking doors. It's as simple as knowing how to stand out from the competition and do the right things.

About this title

About the Author

Barbara B. Bergstrom is the executive director of Greetings: Voice - Image - Communications, a leading etiquette and protocol company with offices in Chicago and Orlando. She is also the author of Bound for the Boardroom and its Spanish translation, Rumbo al Exito Empresarial."

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

DON'T FORGET YOUR KEYS

Each Key Holds the Power to Your Career AdvancementBy Barbara B. Bergstrom

Trafford Publishing

Copyright © 2010 Barbara B. Bergstrom
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4269-3088-1

Contents

The Power of Professionalism.....................................3Improving Yourself...............................................5Adversity........................................................8Women and the Glass Ceiling......................................10The Ultimate Greeting............................................15A Rose is a Rose.................................................19Respect..........................................................21Honesty..........................................................23Assumptions......................................................26The Job Market Jungle............................................28Reputation.......................................................30Where Have All the Customers Gone?...............................32Authority........................................................37U.S. Leadership..................................................39Trust Management.................................................43Follow-Through...................................................45Hope and Faith...................................................47Personal Ambition................................................49Barking Dogs.....................................................51Watch What You Say...............................................55Foul Language....................................................58The Rules of Engagement..........................................60Self-Expression..................................................63Listen for Success...............................................65Political and Religious Discussions..............................68Corrective Criticism.............................................73Apology - Magic..................................................75Attitude is "Everything".........................................77The I's Have It..................................................81Business Cards...................................................83Your Paper Package Wardrobe......................................86Your Voice: An Asset or a Liability?.............................89Director of First Impressions....................................91Wardrobe Choices for the Professional............................94Dress for the Occasion...........................................97Hats Off to You..................................................100An Audience Member or Speaker....................................103Your Name in the News............................................105Board Meetings...................................................111Meeting Planning.................................................114Get Opinions.....................................................117Telephone Etiquette..............................................121Telephone Personality............................................124The Angry Caller.................................................126E-Mail Etiquette.................................................128Using Fingers, Forks or Chopsticks...............................137Business Lunch...................................................140In-Home Dining with Upper Management.............................142Holiday Office Party.............................................146Buff et Dining...................................................148Finger Bowl Foibles..............................................151Additional Savvy Dining Skills...................................153The Risky Business of Travel.....................................159Promotional Gift Giving..........................................161Free Advice......................................................163International Perceptions and Misconceptions.....................167Our Flag.........................................................171Dates to Fly the U.S. Flag.......................................174

Chapter One

Professionalism

The Power of Professionalism

We yearn for professional presence in all that we do but truthfully a small percentage of the millions who conduct business daily are truly professional.

Although many amateurs look like professionals in the way they dress and groom themselves, the outward appearance disguises the amateur inside.

Amateurs have a tendency to focus on themselves. Often you will hear them use the pronouns "I" or "me," as a prefix, in the center of most of their communication pattern. The professionals will use "We." They know that they seldom do things single-handedly in business. The amateur is often branded as an egocentric.

Amateurs are concerned about discounts, price and what's in it for them. Often they haggle over who receives the most attention or the biggest slice of the pie. Talking to the client or prospect about how much they can provide or do for them is another signal that an amateur is at work.

A professional listens to the needs of the prospect then goes about filling those needs. Sensitivity to what drives the need becomes a factor. The professional takes measures to assure the need is fulfilled to the benefit of the customer not themselves. Professionals will follow-up, while amateurs leave loose ends untied. Instead of worrying about a piece of the pie, professionals create more and bigger pies.

Professionalism creates a tremendous power because people want to do business with those who are committed to excellence. In turn, excellence creates more business.

It is not good enough these days to just put in a hard days work. You must do what ever it is you do better than your competition to even be considered professional. The basic virtues of respect, dignity, courtesy, honesty and trust are tools needed to be found in the professional's tool box. Professionals go out of their way to assure every client feels their focus and also feels appreciated.

Generally, the professionals love what they do and they continually develop skills and knowledge about their products and services. This enables them to do what they do better than anyone else.

Don't confuse profession with occupation. An occupation is a job - a job that unfortunately so many don't want to be doing in the first place. You've heard the expression, I'm sure, "What I really wanted to do or be in my life was ..."

It is virtually impossible to become a true professional if you really don't even like what you're doing. It is sad but so many people are just putting in their time, doing at best, the least that is expected. Others are dedicated to working very hard, day in and day out, doing something they hate. Most often their career interests actually lie somewhere else hidden in their dreams.

Becoming skilled professionals, who are in demand and prized by industry leaders, doesn't just happen. They must take a keen interest in their career and be producers - make bigger pies, be disciplined and show respect to others at all times. In addition, they must practice diplomacy, be considerate, soft-spoken yet firm and really like people. They must be encouraging, free with praise of others, dress appropriately and do their homework. The professional may also have a few other qualities, which aren't totally without merit, often found in Saints.

Finally, professionals look for and seem to see the invisible and accomplish the impossible. When the power of professionalism is generated, success is a given.

Improving Yourself

What are you doing to improve yourself? What makes you better today than you were yesterday or a month ago? Ah ha, you might answer, "Finding my keys in this book."

I certainly don't mean to buy your ticket for a guilt trip, but I do want to challenge your comfort zone just a bit.

Sometimes we all have a tendency to slack off or perhaps sit back and rest on our laurels. We make choices all day long, every day of the week and unfortunately, often we just choose not to grow. We've done it. We've been there and we become very comfortable with our routine. We also become complacent.

Are you really as successful as you would like to be? Are you going through the motions or are you growing with your motions?

Successful people are growing all the time. By doing the same, you broaden your horizons by exercising your mind and your body, reading, listening, viewing and sometimes even letting go. Yes, letting go of yesterday's mindset and also some of the bad habits collected along your career path.

Often, we think we do a lot but nothing really seems to get done. We even do some of the same things over and over again. Boredom sets in and frustration follows because we confuse activity with accomplishment.

Something as simple and useful as being current with what is acceptable conduct, in the business arena, will contribute to your well-being and positively affect those around you. Social etiquette and business etiquette are similar but in certain areas and under professional guidelines are really quite different. You must know the difference to make a difference. Do you know the difference or are you using today what your mother taught you many years ago? We have some personal mountains to climb and positive action is necessary to encourage growth. For example, business etiquette requires you to stop transferring blame. Your performance is your responsibility. Own it! You choose your behavior and the way you treat others therefore you also choose the consequences.

I can't remember who it was that pointed out to me that I have actually chosen to be a tad more than ten pounds overweight. The reason I'm tipping the scales on the high side is because I have never sat down and accidentally eaten anything! I did it. I chose to eat it today and wear it tomorrow. I can't blame anyone else, because it was no ones choice but mine. I own it.

Along the same line of thinking if I choose to remain stagnant in my career, without putting forth effort into improving myself, it stands to reason that I have also chosen to decrease my income.

Just think about it. If you are going to change your status you must improve your performance. You must motivate yourself. No one can do it for you. No matter how many self help books you read, or motivational speakers you hear, it all comes down to you doing it! Your motivation must come from within yourself based on your personal daily choices.

When you take responsibility and motivate yourself, you become an inner-directed employee. In today's competitive business arena independent mentally flexible employees have raised the bar. Even one size fits all work schedules are doomed. More work is done away from the office and at home thanks to all the technology we have at our finger-tips today. Realtors tell me the four bedroom house is no longer a four bedroom home. It is three bedrooms and an office. The typical three-bedroom, two-bath house or condo is now two bedrooms, two baths and an office.

I have a plaque in my office, within my direct line of sight. I can't miss it. It reads, "If it's going to be, it's up to me." It reminds me daily to stop moaning and start moving. I must make things happen. It has taught me that the choices I make, affect not only me, but all those with whom I come in contact. How I treat people, talk, smile, respond, respect them and consider them, in all that I do, is up to me. If I don't choose to manage myself and my own attitude, how can I ever lead anyone else?

Taking action liberates your energy and is a great builder of confidence. Sometimes you procrastinate and don't fulfill tasks you know need to be completed. You unfortunately develop leaks in your energy reservoir and fatigue saps your time and creativity. Procrastination and blame will literally paralyze your productivity.

Now is the time to renew your determination and your desire to be all that you can be. Show respect and appreciate your opportunities. Let excuses be a part of your past - the part you let go. Begin each day by saying to yourself. "If it's going to be, it's up to me!"

Adversity

If you boil water in three pans, add carrots to the first, eggs to the second and coffee to the third, this set of simple actions teaches us something about facing adversity.

The carrots go into the water hard but come out soft and weak. The eggs go into the water fragile but come out hardened. The coffee changes the water to something better.

As you face life will you become soft and give up, become hard or will you transform adversity into triumph? What will you bring to the table in your own life?

Liberace, the famed pianist, said "Nobody will believe in you unless you believe in yourself."

Sometimes we do things that we really don't believe in. When this happens, we tend to lose sight of who we truly are. Only you can be yourself. No one else is qualified for the job. Often we try so hard to be perfect when we really should work the hardest at being ourselves. We must learn to deal with adversity and how to overcome it in our own way.

Adversity is thrust upon us in different measures and how we choose to handle it affects our world.

For some adversity comes into our life like an ever-changing kaleidoscope and changes the pattern we laid out for our life. Some others are born into adversity and must learn survival tactics. When adversity is conquered, the skills learned, in the doing, are the golden treasures of life's experience.

The foundation of all working relationships, business and personal, begins with your own self-esteem. We all experience set backs and when you meet adversity or difficulties head-on you either alter the difficulties or you must alter yourself to meet them.

I believe whole heartily in this quote from Brian Tracey, "Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation."

Are you the carrot who has become soft? Do you whine and complain while asking, why me? Do you dig down deep into yourself for the strength and ability to change the adversity thrust upon you?

The strength is there but you must go after it, use it and make the choices necessary to effect change. Your fellow employees or business associates can't do it for you. In fact, they will probably leave you to your own devices and give their attention and sympathy to others they feel really needs it leaving you to wallow in your own pity pot.

Are you the egg who has become hard, dictatorial and domineering? Do you tell others what to do instead of asking them? Is the working environment you have created pleasant, cohesive and team-oriented? Is there a feeling of harmony? Ask yourself if you are taking out your frustration and disappointment on others rather than looking inward into yourself for change.

Finally, are you that person who meets the challenge head-on and alters yourself? The one who uses adversity as an opportunity to make something better of yourself, your surroundings, your business and your relationships?

Don't forget, when it begins to hurt, you will change. You hold the key! You have the power and adversity has given you the motivation for change.

Great leaders have all dealt with adversity at one time or another, in one form or another, in different degrees. When adversity knocks, recognize it as the tool you need to achieve the greatest success in your chosen field - perhaps in your life. Embrace it! Become a leader! You hold the key!

Women and the Glass Ceiling

Respect for women prior to the 1970s required a man to practically jump through hoops to prove he was gallant. Chivalry demanded that he had to stand up when a woman entered a room, was being seated at a table or when she excused herself and left the table. He had to carry her packages, hold her coat, open all doors, including the car door and unfortunately, light her cigarettes.

When dining out, a woman would tell her escort what she wanted to order for dinner and he would, in turn, tell the waitperson. A woman didn't talk to the wait staff unless she was dining with another woman and the interaction couldn't be avoided.

A woman wasn't allowed in the Boardroom except to pour coffee, fill water glasses or take dictation. Business wasn't discussed in front of her because it was thought that she wouldn't understand.

Obviously, she did understand! Women have become a moving force in business and government today throughout the world. They have made many changes in the business etiquette protocols from the past to the present. Today, a man doesn't have to wait for a woman to extend her hand for a handshake. The first person to extend the hand has the advantage.

Internationally, where men would not even touch women much less shake their hands, customs have also changed. In the Muslim religion, men do not shake a woman's hand but just as in Thailand and other parts of the world, it is understood and permissible for business people to shake hands. Yes, even if one of the parties is a woman.

The rules of the game of business have definitely changed; however, respect remains steadfast no matter the culture. In some countries where a hug and kiss on each cheek is the custom, the handshake most always precedes this form of welcome.

Along the same line of gender neutral customs in the United States, the first person to reach the door opens it as a common gesture of courtesy.

Some men have a difficult time understanding their masculinity is not diminished when a woman opens the door. She is just being polite because she got there first. A man would do the same for another man as an act of courtesy.

In business, women are or should be treated as equals with men and most often are, however, they still have a long way to go to correct some inadequacies and level the playing field. This holds true especially in the area of salaries.

It is a joy to see and an inspiration for women to appreciate that the time is NOW and the place is HERE. Women need to reject intimidation and innuendo. Their ambition must not be depressed. Sometimes women shoot themselves in the foot by taking the past inequities with them as they try to move forward.

Differences between men and women are obvious in meetings. Men say what they mean to say and women very often begin with, "May I make a comment?" or "May I offer a suggestion?" This shows the lack of confidence they bring into the business arena from the social etiquette they were taught as young ladies. No way is a man going to ask permission and women in the non-gender competitive business world should just say what they have to say.

Women today must also not be afraid to say "no" when they are overloaded and have reached their limit. Women were taught to please and often feel as though their job is in jeopardy if they can not do all and be all to their male supervisors. Failure is a heavy hammer they actually impose on themselves.

Women need to accept responsibility and feel empowered. They should never make excuses because the focus is switched and the sight of the original goal is lost.

Women have come a long way in the United States and now hold powerful positions as CEO's of mega companies as well as high level government positions. But this is the exception in many other countries even though we are very familiar with the names of a few outstanding women in high offices.

The greatest numbers of women decision makers outside of the United States are from Western Europeans countries. England's former Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher, is one of the most well-known and admired leaders throughout the world.

The American business woman has become a role-model for working women in the Middle East. The Arabs don't feel comfortable doing business with women but they certainly are aware of the U.S. women's business achievements. In Japan and China, women are increasingly on the business scene.

We are fortunate that, in these United States, our business customs have changed consistently. Contemporary men are still gallant in the social environment and respect is alive and well socially and in business even though some people wonder where it is hiding. While our business climate dictates status and position are the big factors, gender is not and age does not take precedent. I like that!

It is true that many businesses today are recognizing the need for diversity on their Boards of Directors. Women are still noticeably underrepresented. The majority of the persons seated currently on corporate boards is male, white and largely share the same backgrounds, views, interests and circles of influence.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from DON'T FORGET YOUR KEYSby Barbara B. Bergstrom Copyright © 2010 by Barbara B. Bergstrom. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Edition details

• Publisher: Trafford Pub
• Publication date: 2010
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 1426930887
• ISBN 13: 9781426930881
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 188