Researchers have found we are more effective in our interpersonal interactions when we are more open and aware of our blindness's. The more authentically we speak; the more successful we will be in our career, our love life, our family, and with our health and our friends. If our speaking and actions are driven by honesty, we will be in the world with authenticity, power, passion, dignity, peace and success. People pleasing is driven by distortion of the truth, avoidance of conflict, need to be liked, insecurity, poor self-esteem, and or giving away power. Takers, addicts, bad boyfriends or girlfriends, predators, people driven by greed take advantage of people pleasers. People pleasers cannot take care of themselves in the presence of these people so often feel like victims in the world. The world is smaller, more complex and challenging. We need skills to be able to negotiate our way through the darker sides of life. I have found that implementing three distinctions I will call Backbone tools: the ability to say No with dignity, make requests, and speak authentically can radically change one's life. All of us need Backbone Tools. When you bump up against the Bernie Madoffs of the world and they can't tolerate requests, it is time for you to move on before you find your wallet empty. The people in 12 step programs can greatly enhance their recovery by reading this book. I believe for most people struggling with addictions, including eating disorders, and the friends and families of those struggling with addictions, there is a component of people pleasing. Women who have been abused or are being abused AFTER they are in a safe environment need Backbone skills. If they learn these skills early in life they will have the tools to avoid abusive, toxic situations. Anyone who feels they have any aspects of avoiding conflict, keeping the peace, not rocking the boat, or difficulty speaking honestly will find this book empowering!
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Backbone Power, was written to help people with making decisions with themselves in mind. From inside my office with my patients, experiences, I have given example after example of how you can do this too, to become successful and work thru those hard choices.
Anne Brown PhD, RNCS, is a psychotherapist, in Private Practice in Aspen, Colorado. For over twenty years she has served as the trusted advocate and advisor to Influential Corporate leaders, Trial Attorneys, Athletes, Leaders, Physicians and their families, many whose connections extend well beyond the town of Aspen. Dr. Brown's nursing and psychosocial education afford her the unique ability to assess and intervene with her client's medical and emotional concerns. Combining her own professional experience with that of her no-nonsense mentor, the former Chilean Minister of Finance, political prisoner of Pinochet and corporate business consultant, Dr. Fernando Flores, Brown uses a methodology that helps people reveal their blindness's and learn to speak authentically thereby decreasing their suffering and increasing their dignity and authenticity. Brown has been described by one client as "having a very caring way of going for the jugular." Before moving to Aspen in 1987, Brown worked as an Alcohol Clinical Specialist at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston, Massachusetts from 1981-1983. She was the Program Director of the Outpatient Drug and Alcohol Program at Greater Cape Ann Human Services in Gloucester, Massachusetts from 1983-1987. Since being in Aspen, Brown has developed a private practice providing therapy for families, individuals, and couples. Her practice is results oriented and with her therapeutic intervention her clients develop the tools to become their own self advocates. She served as a Radio Talk Show Host for KAJX on Aspen Public Radio, from 1999-2006 interviewing people following their dreams (many of her shows are still on www.success-talk.com/brown). She is also a life expert in relationships on www.genconnect.com. In 1997 Brown also reached a personal goal of obtaining her Black Belt in Soo Bahk Do. Brown is a graduate of the University of Virginia, BS in Nursing; Boston University, MS in Psychiatric-Mental Health in Nursing; and International University, PhD in Addiction Studies. She has kept residence in Aspen, Colorado and has two children and four grandchildren.
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