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Synopsis
Dealing with the death of a friend or family member is one of the most difficult things we face in life. The last thing anyone wants to confront at such a time is the problem of funeral arrangements. Let the Simply Essential Funeral Planning Kit do the work for you.
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About the Author
In writing Simply Essential Funeral Planning Kit, author Don S. Cochrane draws upon his fifty years of professional assisting people as a funeral director, counselor, educator, and administrator.
From the Back Cover
Dealing with the death of a friend or family member is one of the most difficult things we face in life. The last thing anyone wants to confront at such a time is the problem of funeral arrangements. Let the Simply Essential Funeral Planning Kit do the work for you.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Every day we are faced with problems to solve, an endless variety of things to learn, and a list of seemingly endless tasks. Some tasks are necessary and we must deal with ourselves, and some we can delegate, but the way we deal with them indicates our attitudes and life skills. One of the most important life skills is the ability to plan. Lord Baden Powell, the founder of the Boy Scout movement, chose "be prepared" as a motto. Preparation can mean the difference between success and failure.
I have been a counselor for over 40 years in education, addiction, job displacement, and family practice. I began counseling, however, as a funeral director, and with my half-century of training and experience, I have found that there are several simple steps in effective problem-solving regardless of the situation, the degree of crisis, or the size of the problem. Those steps are as follows:
- Understand the reality of the situation and the problem that is facing you. Knowledge is the key to understanding so learn all you can about your options. If you are concerned that your emotions are clouding your view of the situation, look for help to separate reality from misconception.
- Investigate and list the resources that are available to you in finding a solution.
- Create a plan and write it down. Set a direction and an objective: the plan should be a clear statement of what you want to do and how you want to do it. Be flexible. You can always adjust the plan if circumstances change.
- Communicate your plan and its objectives to the people who will be impacted by your plan.
This simple sequence of actions is effective whether you wish to change a behavior, settle a dispute, or complete a business transaction. Regardless of circumstances, if you follow this process of problem solving, the outcome will always be better than a knee-jerk reaction or avoiding the problem.
This book approaches funeral planning in exactly the same way. It outlines the problems created by your death. Unpleasant as the thought may be, death is a reality and a certainty. This guide will encourage you to understand the potential problems encountered by those left with the task of dealing with your death. It defines the available resources and options and the cost of each. It will help you to write a clear plan, outline your preferences and choices, and deal with the physical, emotional, and financial impacts of your death or the death of a loved one. Finally, it will encourage you to communicate that plan to those left in charge of your affairs.
Ten Reasons to Plan Your Funeral
Using this simple process outlined above to create a plan while you are still alive, you can accomplish ten important goals that will bring you peace of mind that you have completed your life on your terms.
1. No one is in a better position than you are, while you are alive, to gather the information, documents, and background material that will be needed when you die.
2. It is the only way to see that your preferences and values in life are reflected in the final event for which you will be remembered.
3. It removes the risk that members of your family might have different views on this event. It is an affirmative statement by you that, coupled with your legal will, ensures that your wishes will be respected by the law and by those you love.
4. It ensures that the emotional impact of your death will not cloud the financial considerations involved in the purchase of goods and services at the time of your death.
5. It leaves a clear message concerning the manner, degree, and type of commemorative service that you desire: religious, secular, or no service at all.
6. It allows you to choose the people involved in your funeral. This could include the person with the prime responsibility for carrying out your wishes your executor or another person you so designate -- any one else you might want to participate as a master of ceremonies or pallbearer.
7. It clearly defines your choices in the major areas of arrangement: - Burial or cremation: plot, buried or scattered ashes, urn, monument, etc. - Direct disposition or religious or secular services prior to disposition - Casket or burial or cremation container - Open or closed casket
8. It outlines your views on the memorial service on such matters as -- - floral tributes, - donations to charities in lieu of flowers, and - music.
9. It allows you to shop for the goods and services, before they are required. You can make cost comparisons on all aspects of the funeral and show the financial implications of one choice versus another.
10. It gives you the satisfaction of knowing that "you did it your way" and didn t leave the arrangements for others.
Preplanning your funeral is the business of conducting your affairs so that your loved ones have less to deal with after your death. It is cost-efficient and can be conducted in a relaxed atmosphere so you have the time to consider all options. I believe it is simply essential to the well-being of those you love.
Overcoming Your Fear of Dealing with Death
In Chapter 2, you will complete a questionnaire that will help you understand the number of choices and decisions that the person responsible for your funeral must face. That person could be a spouse, a child, a friend, or several family members. Without a funeral plan, that person is working under a number of handicaps.
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