A Woman's Guide to Sex - Softcover

Taylor, Kate

Softcover

ISBN 10: 155407097X ISBN 13: 9781554070978

Publisher: Firefly Books, 2005

Synopsis

A straightforward, illustrated guide to sex for women.

A Woman's Guide to Sex is a frank and informative reference to heterosexual relationships. Written by a woman for women, this abundantly illustrated handbook is a lively celebration of femininity and sex.

The book covers a range of topics including:

• Ensuring good sexual health
• Lifestyle changes that heighten sensual awareness
• Why and how to flirt
• Foreplay recommendations and sexual positions
• Enjoying sex during and after pregnancy
• Hot monogamy, or how to have great sex for the first and millionth time.
• Sex toys, lubricants and contraception options.

Illustrations depict the wide variety of sexual positions and clear, lively text provides detailed explanations.

A Woman's Guide to Sex also includes a chapter written for men telling the woman's partner everything he needs to know. Annotated diagrams explain the details.

A source list provides related book titles and website URLs that offer further information and shopping.

About this title

About the Author:

Kate Taylor is Britain's most popular "sex expert". She hosted the television series Sex Tips for Girls and More Sex Tips for Girls, wrote the sex advice column for GQ magazine, and is the author of three other sex books.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.:

Chapter 1: Are you good in bed?

So are you?

Ooh, that's the question, isn't it? It's what we all want to be. We want to be sexy and sexual, alluring and passionate. We want our current partner to be in a constant state of semi-lust, driven to distraction by thoughts of our naked body. We want our ex-lovers to be tortured by our memory, unable to enjoy sex with another woman because it's just not as great as it was with us. We want to be responsive, beautiful, bewitching and confident. We want to be good in bed.

So, are you? Well, you're going to be. Within these pages are the tips, techniques and tricks to make you very, very good in bed indeed. If you read the ideas here and include them in your sexual repertoire, you could easily be the best lover your partner (or future partners) has ever known. The reason is simple: most women don't bother to read sex books.

It's true. Most women you know won't ever have read a sex book. Instead, they go to bed with a head full of half-heard positions and some vague ideas about blow jobs, and just hope that the sex will be great. Unfortunately, women still believe in the White Knight theory of sex, that "When I meet the right man, the sex will be fantastic. He'll just know what my body needs to feel alive, and the simple touch of my hand on his hip will make him swoon with ecstasy." No, no, no. This is sweet but it's not true. It's like saying, "When I meet the right car, I'll just know how to drive." Really good sex takes information and practice -- lots of it. You have to know what goes where, why and how. Then you have to experiment like mad. Think of yourself as a nutty love professor, testing out new theories on your man -- who'll be only too pleased to assist.

Your sexual appetite

Of course, it's easy to experiment in bed if you're happy to be there. To be great in bed you have to want to have sex. So, do you? The most likely answer is "sometimes." If you've met a new partner who you fancy like mad, you probably do. If you've been married for 30 years to a man who's losing his hair, teeth and mind, you may not. If you're going through menopause, you also might not. But if your period is due tomorrow, you probably do. So let's start here, with how you can boost your sexual appetite and get back your lust -- for life.

Why work on your sexual appetite?

Before we begin, I have to have a quick word with anyone reading this who thinks that it's somehow wrong to be interested in having great sex, that it's somehow "dirty" or inelegant. Yes, I know we've all been sexually revolutionized but there are still women among us who have a "nice girls don't" mindset.

If this is you, please relax. It's fine to want sex. In fact, it's healthy, natural and good to want it. Sexual desire is an important, natural function in humans as it helps us reproduce -- which is the single reason we're all on this Earth. Don't be afraid of your sexuality. Don't ever think it's wrong to want sex. No, no, sister! The only time that it's wrong is when you're using it for the wrong reasons -- like, you think it'll make a man love you (it won't), or you think you'll be dumped if you don't sleep with him (in which case, don't you dare).

Sex at its best is shared between two people, in love, within a committed relationship. I am old-fashioned in that I don't believe women should sleep with men they don't care about. But that's not because I think they're sluts if they do; it's because I've seen them get hurt. Women bond when we have sex -- hormones are released that physically cause our body to crave his body. You can't decide when that happens; there are some men that just get our bodies going crazy, so before we know it we are hopelessly in lust with someone we barely know (or only know bare).

By all means embrace your sexuality. Sex is a fabulous way to release tension, push the boundaries of your desires and explore your female essence. But be wise. Protect yourself. Don't sleep with any man until you know his true character. He is entering you, going deep inside you. Make sure you know who he is first. Anyway, back to your scheduled program

Boosting your mojo

Do you feel sexy? If you do, you can skip ahead a few pages. In fact, we'll meet you at Chapter 2 for some killer tips on flirting. The rest of you, stick with me. There are many reasons why a woman can go from "Yes, yes, yes!" to "Dear God, no." The first ones I'll be dealing with are medical. We'll get these out of the way right now because if any of the following apply to you, you'll need specific help on boosting your love-vibe.

Menopause

As we mentioned before, menopause is a common time to lose your libido. Fluctuating hormone levels play havoc with your body, causing all kinds of things like hot flashes and headaches, which can make sex the last thing on your mind. However, you don't have to just put up with it and suffer. The repercussions of doing this could last long after your hot flashes have faded away. There are many treatments to consider so the best thing to do is look into what is available and consult your doctor or an alternative health practitioner.

If you don't like the idea of HRT, consider natural alternatives. Some women achieve great results from using natural hormone therapies, like progesterone creams rubbed directly into the skin. Other herbal supplements like evening primrose oil can also help.

Antidepressants

Some antidepressants -- usually those classed as SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) -- can inhibit arousal to the extent that you wouldn't get turned on even if Brad Pitt stood in front of you, butt-naked. They can also delay or even prevent orgasm. Again, consult your doctor. Some research has shown that Wellbutrin (aka bupropion HCI) has no such effects and can even boost your sexual appetite. More studies are needed, but in the meantime talk to those who know. Great sex is a natural mood enhancer, so, unless you are seriously depressed or in danger of harming yourself, it might be worth making the switch.

Drugs

Marijuana, cocaine, Ecstasy, speed and heroin can all affect sexual appetite. Yes, you can have what feels like great sex on all these drugs, but the aftereffects (shivers, paranoia, weepiness, depression) can leave your libido in tatters. So, say No to drugs and Yes to your man.

Prescribed drugs

Some prescribed drugs can ruin your lustiness. Sadly, they're saving your life at the same time. Common offenders are antiandrogen drugs, sedatives, cardiac drugs, ulcer medications and neuroleptics. Talk to your doctor if your sexual appetite (or responsiveness) has decreased after starting a drug. There may be alternatives.

Illness

Illness stops you feeling sexy. Not only does being unhealthy affect your sexual confidence, but your loss of libido is your body's way of saying, "Enough with the jiggy-jiggy! I'm trying to heal here." But if you have a long-term illness, you might not want to resign yourself to a lifetime of celibacy. Common causes of decreased lust are illnesses that raise prolactin levels (such as some pituitary conditions, hypothyroidism, cirrhosis and stress) and those affecting your ovaries and uterus (which can throw your hormone levels). Seek medical advice.

Other reasons

If there isn't a medical reason for you feeling about as up-for-it as a dead stick, the cause could be emotional. Sex is a personal issue, starting in our brains, and encountering stress, a big change or feeling unattractive can make the bedroom the last place you want to be (unless it's to curl up with a few candy bars to watch Beaches). The most common emotional reason for this is lack of sexual confidence. Reading this book should help, as having specific techniques to try out in bed will make you feel armed and ready. Read ahead and see if you start feeling more positive and aroused. If not, then com

About this edition

• Publisher: Firefly Books
• Publication date: 2005
• ISBN 10: 155407097X
• ISBN 13: 9781554070978
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 256
• Illustrator: Spaniard Kid