Men and women communicate with complex, confusing and often contradictory signals. If you only pick up what's said aloud, you're missing half the message. Secrets of Sexual Body Language shows how to take advantage of the vast world nonverbal communication.
It teaches you the basic principles of sending and receiving body language. Analyzing men and women from head to toe, it shows you how to decode the messages sent by each part of the body. Secrets of Sexual Body Language breaks down the multilayered signals presented in real life situations and illustrates how to apply your newfound skills.
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Martin Lloyd-Elliott is a counselling psychologist and psychotherapist. He studied at the London Institute of Human Sexuality and the University of London. He lives in London where he works as a therapist in private practice.
Hand and Arm Signals
When we greet someone we often shake hands. A firm handshake is desirable for both men and women, but a handshake any longer than five seconds will imply a desire for greater intimacy.
A gentle tug can signal attraction, and even the subtlest squeeze on the fleshy part of the palm can make a person of either sex want to have you hold his or her hand.
If you lean gently forwards as you shake hands, it will increase your mutual state of arousal and will make your intentions clear. The unsubtle palm scratch of your opposite's hand with your middle finger is not recommended.
We can signal high status or supreme confidence - although it can be dangerously near the edge of unattractive arrogance - by placing our hands behind (not on top of) our head. The finger steeple is also a sign of great confidence. If you are lucky enough to have beautiful hands and fignernails, show these off as much as possible by using plenty of hand movements when you communicate. The possession of nice hands is rated very highly among physical attributes.
We use our hands to signal interest in someone by moving them into another's personal space. We edge our hands forward across the surface of a table or bar. We reveal our open palms towards the person we desire as a peaceful gesture of good will. An open palm is friendly and can be very inviting.
The wrists have always been considered highly erotic, especially on women, and the display of the wrist is highly suggestive and arousing. Many women put perfume on their wrists, as well as behind their ears.
Often very suggestively, although unintentionally, we use our hands to caress inanimate objects, especially wine glasses and cutlery. These are usually phallic in shape and may hint at sexual acts which we may or may not be daydreaming about. We can even use our hands, and especially our fingers, to mimic oral sex, sucking and licking food from them.
The hands and arm can also signal negative feelings about someone coming on to us. For example we might build a blockade by folding our arms or, in extreme circumstances, cover our eyes with our hands!
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