Sex Smart: 501 Reasons to Hold Off on Sex: A Sexuality Resource for Teenagers - Softcover

Pogany, Susan Browning

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1577490436 ISBN 13: 9781577490432

Publisher: Fairview Press, 1998

Synopsis

Written by a medical science journalist and parent, this book provides straightforward answers to hundreds of questions teens have about sex and relationships.

About this title

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.:

Sex is not a three-letter word for love, writes sex educator Carol Cassell. Love that is real is a developing emotion, slow and steady....[It involves] a willingness to invest time and effort in developing the potential of a relationship.1 A young man explains, I thought that sleeping together would deepen our relationship. But we just didn't know each other well enough. It turned out we were too different. I was sorry, and I felt guilty. Twenty-three-year-old Kim recalls, I was sixteen and a virgin when I started dating Brian. He was great looking, older, sophisticated. I thought about him every minute. I was completely in love. After a few weeks, we were having sex-in fact, we did it every time we had a chance to be together. At first, I was so happy being with him, but then I got scared and upset. I was afraid he would leave me, and I felt kind of guilty. Here I was sleeping with this guy, and I was starting to figure out that he didn't feel about me like I did about him. I was so sure I loved him, but I realize now that I didn't really know him. I didn't know then what it means to really know a guy. The truth is that, after a while, the biggest thing between us was sex. One night when he brought me home, he said goodbye in this kind of heavy, serious way. I could just tell he meant it was all over. I was so scared, but I couldn't, you know, talk to him about it. Can you believe it? We'd been intimate sexually all those weeks, and I still couldn't really have an intimate conversation with him about us. For months, I felt awful and depressed. I listened to this suicidal music and stared into space for hours. I was completely confused about who I was and what I had done.... Then I met Allen. I was so desperate for affection or love or attachment that I started sleeping with him after a couple of weeks. It was exciting for a while, and I told myself I loved him, but I didn't really. I just needed to feel loved. It didn't last long, and I ended up feeling even worse about myself. I really wish I hadn't had sex so young. It made me feel bad about myself, and it made me feel like I made stupid decisions. I don't know if I've really gotten over feeling bad about me. I wish I'd waited till I was older.

From Library Journal:

These books concentrate on teen abstinence, idealizing post-adolescent marriage and "committed relationships" as the best settings for sex. The Eyres, authors of several books on parenting, including Teaching Your Children Values (LJ 3/15/93), propose telling children: "Sex is awesome and wonderful: save it for the one you love." Tips, reading selections, and sample dialogs are given for each age group, along with appropriate preparation and follow-up. Though much here is excellent, few sex educators support withholding information from young children, as the Eyres seem to recommend; and the book cannot stand alone, since many details about sex are not provided. Only for libraries with other, more detailed books, such as Mary Calderone and James Ramey's Talking with Your Child About Sex (LJ 12/15/82), Patty Stark's Sex Is More Than a Plumbing Lesson (Preston Hollow, 1991), and Stanton and Brenna Jones's Christian-based How & When To Tell Your Kids About Sex (NavPress, 1993). Pogany, a medical/science journalist, makes some good points (e.g., coitus can have devastating consequences for adolescents), and her assertions are well referenced. Nor is she preachy; rather, she aims to empower young people to reach their own goals. Still, Sex Smart is ultimately a straightforward "scare" book and is recommended only for collections with other, comprehensive teen sex books. But do buy Patti Breitman and others' excellent How To Persuade Your Lover To Use a Condom...And Why You Should (LJ 8/87).AMartha Cornog, American Coll. of Physicians, Philadelphia
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

About this edition

• Publisher: Fairview Press
• Publication date: 1998
• ISBN 10: 1577490436
• ISBN 13: 9781577490432
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 192