Just as the American bishops consider a policy of excluding gays from priestly formation comes Exsules Filii Evae (The Banished Sons of Eve), a novel that sounds the inner life of a seminarian in the contentious decade of the 1980s, when the official attitude towards gays in the Catholic Church is about to turn several degrees chillier with the publication of the now-famous Ratzinger Letter. Why does a gay man think of entering the priesthood in a Church like this, anyway? After Ratzinger, can a gay seminarian hold his head up and persevere? Just what does he lose by leaving?
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Stephen Hoffman was born and reared in rural Buford, North Dakota. He now lives with his son, Gunnar, in Baltimore, Maryland.
Adrian sat in the dark chapel at Holy Name in the hour before dinner, watching the sun, low in the sky outside, ignite the red and yellow-green and sapphire glass of the windows. The inscriptions there, in frosted glass letters outlined by blackened lead, blazed like the white center of a furnace: they looked truly like the thoughts of God rendered in English for the supplicant here to take them in. Many were the days Adrian had been that supplicant, yearning for the voice of the Almighty, hopeful that the words would be words of encouragement for him. Today what struck him was the presence of the light outside, and the darkness of the space in here, so cool and silent one felt entombed. He thought of other moments—happy ones, when a congregation somewhere had filled a sacred space like this with song and celebration, Sunday mornings when matrons in hats and suited fathers glowed not only in their finest clothes but also with their best intentions, and children, chastened with awe, looked with infant eyes on the golden fixtures of their church, the chalices and monstrances and reliquaries of a religion, and felt like the citizens of a wealthy kingdom. Where had that celebration been? Somewhere in Adrian’s past, in the soft impressionable mind of a Catholic child marking the holy days of the year with his native tribe.
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