Furnishes a practical blueprint for successful relationships by detailing the various steps to finding and maintaining love, dicussing such topics as the difference between conditional and unconditional love, how to eliminate conflicts, how to differentiate between imitation love and real love, and the destructive impact of dishonesty and criticism. 30,000 first printing.
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Greg Baer, M.D., is the author of a highly successful self-published book, The Truth about Relationships, which became the basis for Real Love. Dr. Baer has appeared on over 800 radio shows, and lectures at Unity churches around the country.
The most remarkable aspect of this self-help book is the author's avowal that he's been there, too, while he stretches a rudimentary concept into a full-blown book. Baer's message is simple. People toiling away in lukewarm relationships are lacking "real love"-the ability to care unconditionally about the happiness of another person. "When we're unhappy, our misery is not the fault of our partner. Blaming that person is therefore foolish, wasteful and destructive, because no matter how much we demand or insist, he or she cannot make us happy." Ophthalmologist Baer (The Truth About Relationships) is not the first champion of the "you-get-out-of-it-what-you-put-into-it" school, and his suggestion that individuals are responsible for their own happiness is hardly novel. What distinguishes his map to the romantic holy grail from the others in its genre is Baer's admission of his own fallibility. He's been down and out, and there's something reassuring about his willingness to admit to failures as well as triumphs. As a result, the overall effect of this book is soothing, but readers shouldn't expect the truths found here to be anything new.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.
This self-help book is written by an ophthalmologist who uses his personal experience of recovery from divorce and drug addiction to chart a course for others to learn how to find real love in heterosexual marriage. By "real love," Baer means love that is given unconditionally, and he describes many situations that may look like love but are only "imitation" in that it has conditions or strings attached. He also characterizes the many behaviors that people use either to get love or to protect themselves from lack of real love. Unfortunately, his reasoning often seems circular and simplistic, and there are areas where his judgment can be challenged: his discussion of anorexia is not supported by current psychological theory, and his brief discussion of abusive situations could be dangerously misconstrued to lead a victim to stay in a violent relationship. Finally, there are no notes or bibliography. Although the author is popular on the lecture circuit and radio, there is enough questionable material here to withhold a recommendation. Many better books on relationships are available.
Margaret Cardwell, Christian Brothers Univ., Memphis, TN
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.
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