Life After the Military: A Handbook for Transitioning Veterans (Military Life) - Hardcover

Hill, Janelle; Lawhorne, Cheryl; Philpott, Don

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 1605907405 ISBN 13: 9781605907406

Publisher: Government Institutes, 2011

Synopsis

Hundreds of thousands of military members are making the transition to civilian life each year. This transition is a move into unfamiliar territory and can be an extremely uncomfortable process. However, there are resources in place that can relieve much of the stress of the challenging situations that may arise. In Life After the Military: A Handbook for Transitioning Veterans, authors Janelle Hill, Don Philpott, and Cheryl Lawhorne collect all the information needed to settle into life after the military in one volume.

The book discusses the many issues that transitioning veterans are faced with such as finding employment, going back to school, managing finances, special benefits available to veterans, and a host of other issues the transitioning veteran is likely to face when making the move to civilian life. It also discusses the emotional and psychological challenges that come with leaving the military and settling into life as a civilian. This book is essential for all who are transitioning out of the military, as well as their loved ones.

About this title

About the Author

Janelle Hill is the President and lead consultant of PBS Marketing/Federal Concierge LLC., a consulting provider supporting a variety of project and program needs to businesses, contractors, and the federal government. She is the coauthor of The Wounded Warrior Handbook (Government Institutes, 2008).

Cheryl Lawhorne is an original plank holder in the Wounded Warrior Battalion West at Camp Pendleton, California. She now serves as the Deputy Project Manager for the Recovery Care Coordination Program with the Wounded Warrior Regiment in Quantico, Virginia under the guidance of Headquarters Marine Corps and the Office of the Secretary of Defense.

Don Philpott has been writing, reporting, and broadcasting on international events, trouble spots, and major news stories for almost 40 years. He is the author or coauthor of more than 90 books, including The Wounded Warrior Handbook.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Life After the Military

A Handbook for Transitioning VeteransBy Janelle Hill, Cheryl Lawhorne, Don Philpott

THE SCARECROW PRESS, INC.

Copyright © 2011 Government Institutes
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-60590-740-6

Contents

Acknowledgments............................................................................................vii1 Leaving the Service......................................................................................12 Developing Your Own Individual Transition Plan (ITP).....................................................213 Transitioning to a New Career............................................................................614 The Entrepreneurial Spirit...............................................................................975 Finding a Home...........................................................................................1336 Going Back to school.....................................................................................1497 Health and Insurance.....................................................................................1618 Transition Benefits......................................................................................1779 Finances.................................................................................................245Appendix 1 Useful Websites.................................................................................259Appendix 2 Transition Checklists Used as Part of the Recovery Care Coordinator Program.....................267Appendix 3 Guide to Entrepreneurship.......................................................................279Appendix 4 VA Facilities...................................................................................283Index......................................................................................................311About the Authors..........................................................................................315

Chapter One

Leaving the Service

The key to a smooth transition is to be prepared well before you separate from the military. Start early. Make connections and build networks that will help you transition smoothly into the civilian world.

OVERVIEW

There are many different sorts of transitioning—depending on whether you are single, have a family, are looking to find a civilian job, or planning on enjoying retirement as a veteran.

The transition process is also different depending on whether you are considered a first-termer, a midcareerist, or preretiree. Another distinction is between Active Duty and Reserve.

Returning to civilian life is an exciting time, one full of hope for what the next chapter in your life might bring. But the transition is also a complex undertaking. You have many steps to take and many questions to get answered. Transition assistance staff, personnel office staff, relocation specialists, education counselors, and many others can help, but only you and your family can make the critical decisions that must be made. So where should you start?

This guide will help you work through the sections listed on DD Form 2648, Preseparation Counseling Checklist. The checklist allows you to indicate the benefits and services that you wish to receive additional counseling on as you prepare your Individual Transition Plan (ITP). In those cases where the transition counselor cannot answer questions, you will be referred to subject-matter experts that will provide you the information that you need. Work through each element of the guide but take advantage of your opportunity to request the specific resources that are appropriate for you. If you are uncertain about your future plans, now is the time to obtain all the assistance and information you need. Professional guidance and counseling are available at your transition assistance office, as are workshops, publications, information resources, automated resources, and government programs. Take advantage of each one that applies to your unique situation. It is your Individual Transition Plan: It is your responsibility and your life.

The new "My Decision Points" ITP program will help you develop your personalized game plan for successfully transitioning back to civilian life. My Decision Points provides the framework to help you identify your unique skills, knowledge, desires, experience, and abilities to help you make wise choices. It is not a Department of Defense form; it is something you create by yourself, for yourself, with information found at http://www.TurboTAP.org and assistance from a transition counselor. Those who do not live near a military installation can also get assistance by telephone, e-mail, CD ROM, and so on.

As you prepare to transition into your new life, there are a number of psychological matters that have to be taken into account as well as all the other critical issues, such as finding a home, a job, getting the right health coverage, ensuring you have all the benefits you are entitled to, and so on. However, as you prepare for these life-changing events, it is a good time to consider how these will impact your life and those around you.

COPING WITH CHANGE

Transitioning back to civilian life, especially after periods of deployment, may present unique emotional and psychological challenges. It is natural to experience a sense of significant change, some stress, and feelings of ambivalence. You must reconnect with family, friends, and community while attempting to understand and cope both with deployment experiences and your changing circumstances.

Coming home represents a return to comfort and security, but the routines of home and work are markedly different from the focused, intense, and regimented life of active duty. There are several things to keep in mind for a smoother, healthier transition:

• A period of readjustment is normal. Take things slowly. It takes time to reestablish relationships.

• Things will be different. You have changed, as have your family members. Everyone needs to adapt to a new and mutually acceptable family pattern.

• Communication is key. Talk things out. Be honest, be clear, and be sure to listen.

RETURNING FROM HAZARDOUS DUTY

If you have been in harm's way or on hazardous duty, you may experience symptoms of combat stress. Most conditions related to stress during combat are normal reactions to abnormal circumstances. Reactions may be physical (such as sleep disturbances), cognitive (such as concentration or memory problems), or emotional (such as anger or depression).

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can also become an issue for those returning from hazardous duty. PTSD is an anxiety disorder that may develop weeks, months, or even years after exposure to a terrifying event or ordeal. Not everyone who experiences a traumatic event will develop PTSD.

A person with PTSD exhibits three main types of symptoms:

• reexperiencing the traumatic event

• avoidance and emotional numbing

• increased arousal (hypervigilant or "on guard")

There are many ways to cope with these reactions. Positive coping strategies include rest, exercise, and social involvement. If these symptoms persist, consult with a trained health professional. Therapy, with or without medication, has proven extremely effective.

READJUSTMENT TO WORK

Returning to work may also be challenging. Personnel may have changed, and new projects may be underway. Request a briefing on any changes that occurred in your absence. Do not hesitate to ask for help or support. Take advantage of training opportunities that may help you to feel more confident in your work.

PRIMARY SOURCES OF INFORMATION AND SUPPORT

Military OneSource is a free support service provided by the Department of Defense (DoD), offering assistance and resources to servicemembers and their families on many different issues. Go to www.militaryonesource.com. The Transition Assistance Program website provides information for service-members on transitioning from military service. Visit www.TurboTAP.org.

For further information on PTSD, visit the website for the National Center for PTSD, a special center within Veterans Affairs, at www.ncptsd.va.gov. When you first get married you do everything you can to please your partner. You buy each other little gifts, you help each other with the chores and the shopping, and you enjoy doing things together.

Once you have been married a little while, these little intimacies might become less and less frequent for a number of reasons. You might both have jobs and be so tired when you get home that all you want to do is eat and go to bed. You may have children, which are very time-consuming. You might work different shifts, and so you pass each other in the hallway—as one comes home the other is going to work. Transitioning can place additional stresses and strains on you and your spouse—not only on your marriage but also with your children, other family members, and friends.

Whatever the circumstances, you have to work at any relationship to make it successful. Your relationship is like a fire. It needs fuel to make it burn and without it, the flames will die down until there is nothing left. Despite all the other pressures on your time, you have to keep that fire burning. And there are lots of things you can do to make that fire burn strongly.

The most important thing is to find time to spend together—when the children are in bed, when the chores have been done, when there are no other distractions to stop you from focusing on each other. Set aside this time as your special time to do what you want to do together. It can be once a week or once a month, but make it happen.

Find time to honestly talk about the things that are important to you both: What are your goals and aspirations, do you both have the same dreams for the future? It is much easier to achieve these goals when you are both on the same page.

This honest talking should include your sex life as well. You both have needs—are these being met? Would you like more intimacy? Discuss what you would both like without embarrassment or guilt. Unless you talk about it, neither of you will know what is important to the other—and who knows, it could lead to all sorts of new and exciting things.

With that in mind, keep the magic alive. Just because you are married doesn't mean that you can't still go on dates with your partner. Go to your special restaurant for an intimate candlelit dinner, hold hands. Do not spoil the occasion by talking about work, problems, or the children. Talk about each other, funny things that have happened to you, things you'd like to do, where you would like to go on holiday, and so on. It is all about you as a couple. If your budget is tight, have an intimate dinner at home. Light some candles, dress up for the occasion, play your favorite music—and have fun.

Like a good bottle of wine, a marriage changes as it ages. If handled correctly a fine bottle of wine becomes more complex yet more harmonious, and so it is with a good marriage. The honeymoon may be over, but the love, like the wine, should be nurtured so that it develops and grows into something more beautiful. Remember the little things—the kiss as you leave for work or when you come home, the hug for no other reason than to show that you care, sending flowers even though it is not a birthday or anniversary. It is these little things that show you still care.

If you ask couples who have been happily married for a long time they will often say that they are not just lovers but best friends as well. They are able to talk to each other about anything, they share jokes, and they enjoy doing things together as a couple. Sharing a common interest—everything from jogging to bird watching and singing in the church choir to being on the same trivia team at the local pub helps cement that bond and develop a much broader relationship. Find things that you enjoy doing together—from volunteering to gardening—and really enjoy doing them together.

At the same time, everyone needs their own space, time to do their own thing. It is important that you make time for this as well.

Never take anything for granted, especially in a relationship. We all need reassuring from time to time. If you suddenly stop saying "I love you," your partner may well wonder why but be afraid to ask. It is so easy to prevent those situations from arising by simply saying those three small but important words.

Disagreements Do Happen

At some time or other every couple has an argument. How they handle that argument is a testament to how strong their marriage is. If one partner loses control and storms out of the house, that is not a good sign.

One piece of advice that used to be handed down to newly married couples was "never go to bed angry," which means kiss and make up so that whatever you were arguing about doesn't fester overnight and resurface in another row.

You are bound to have disagreements, and sometimes they are over the silliest little things, although at the time they may not have appeared to be so silly and little. The important thing is that when you do have an argument you have to make sure that it does not escalate and get out of control.

There are several ways of doing this. First, stay in control of your emotions. Something has clearly annoyed you or your partner, so try to discuss it objectively. Never make it personal, with name-calling or deliberately hurtful remarks. No matter how much you want to hurt your partner in the heat of that particular moment, words spoken can never be taken back. Apologies afterward for saying such things don't work, and your partner will remember exactly what you said and may come to resent you for it.

If you do have a disagreement, argue only about what has upset you. Don't use it as an excuse to bring in all sorts of other issues you may have with your partner. Stay in control of your words and actions—don't sneer, don't shout or point fingers. If things are getting too heated, leave the room—don't storm out but just say that you think a time-out would be a good idea. It gives you both a chance to cool down.

Apologies for having the argument, however, are a good idea provided they are sincere. It allows you both to kiss and make up and having cleared the air, move on. If there are still issues to be resolved, set a time to talk about them. Some couples prefer to do this on "neutral" territory—at a café or while going for a walk. Practice the skills mentioned in the communications section above. Listen carefully to what your partner is saying, respect his or her position, and then let him or her know how you feel and perhaps suggest ways you can work together to resolve the problem.

Sometimes couples have issues that they cannot sort out themselves, and they should then seek help. You can approach a trusted mutual friend, a chaplain, or seek advice from the Family service Center.

Marriage and Stress

All marriages undergo stress from time to time. This can be a result of emotional strains, work or financial problems, children, and so on. For military families there are many other situations that can be very stressful—coping with deployment and separation and frequent moves being at the top of the list.

When people are stressed they react differently. It is difficult for them to eat and sleep. They become irritable and short-tempered. They may say things in the heat of the moment they would not otherwise say. As couples tend to react differently under stress, one partner may be affected far more than the other and so the relationship gets out of kilter. The answer is to identify the source of stress and see what can be done about it. First, you must accept that you are under stress and that this is causing problems in the relationship. Then sit down together and talk about the issues. That alone is often enough to relieve some of the stress. Whatever the cause of the stress, it is not likely to be resolved easily or quickly, but just recognizing it and having some sort of plan to tackle it is reassuring. Much more important, by sitting down with your partner and talking about it you can work together to resolve it. There is a lot of truth in the saying "A problem shared is a problem halved."

Talking about the problem is half the battle; showing that you care is the other half. Be supportive and loving. Buy your partner something special—it doesn't have to be expensive—but it does show that you are thinking of them and are there for them.

Transitioning does impose additional stresses and strains on relationships, but being strong and loving together helps you overcome them as you move forward.

TRANSITIONING ASSISTANCE

Joint Transition Assistance

The Departments of Veterans Affairs, Defense, and Labor launched a new and improved website for wounded warriors—the national resource Directory (NRD). This directory (www.nationalresourcedirectory.gov) provides access to thousands of services and resources at the national, state, and local levels to support recovery, rehabilitation, and community reintegration. The NRD is a comprehensive online tool available nationwide for wounded, ill, and injured servicemembers, veterans, and their families.

The NRD includes extensive information for veterans seeking resources on veterans Administration (VA) benefits, including disability benefits, pensions for veterans and their families, VA health care insurance, and the GI Bill. The NRD's design and interface is simple, easy to navigate, and intended to answer the needs of a broad audience of users within the military and veteran and caregiver communities.

Transition from Military to VA

VA has stationed personnel at major military hospitals to help seriously injured servicemembers returning from operations Enduring Freedom and Iraqi Freedom (OEF/OIF) as they transition from military to civilian life. OEF/OIF servicemembers who have questions about VA benefits or need assistance in filing a vA claim or accessing services can contact the nearest VA office or call 1-800-827-1000. The following programs are provided by the VA.

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Excerpted from Life After the Militaryby Janelle Hill, Cheryl Lawhorne, Don Philpott Copyright © 2011 by Government Institutes. Excerpted by permission of THE SCARECROW PRESS, INC.. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Edition details

• Publisher: Government Institutes
• Publication date: 2011
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 1605907405
• ISBN 13: 9781605907406
• Binding: Hardcover
• Number of pages: 324