In light of the crisis at the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Station in Japan, the remarkable personal story that comprises Fear Itself becomes a cautionary tale.
Unwittingly exposed to low-level radiation in the 1940s, Candida Lawrence has lived courageously with its effects throughout her life. Fear Itself traces her years struggling to have a child and her slow waking to the secrets that governments and institutions withheld from the women of her generation. The task for her and for women who have shared her experience has always been to believe herself into wholeness and to survive her losses and her illnesses until there is nothing left to fear. As always, Lawrence’s writing is filled with smart, gentle anger, sweet sadness and the most private sense of what is vital and important.
In Fear Itself, Lawrence’s deeply felt remembrances grant us an honest account of what it is to live in an unstable world. It is a truly personal account that sheds wide light on the world’s ongoing nuclear decisions.
What personal life story could be more timely?
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Candida Lawrence has written three memoirs: Reeling & Writhing, Change of Circumstance and Fear Itself. She is also the author of a collection of essays, Vanishing, and is Founding Editor of the journal Memoir (and). She lives in California.
Lawrence writes about her tough life with fierce exactitude and generous candor because her sufferings are also the lot of others. In Reeling and Writhing (1994) and Change of Circumstances (1995), she chronicled her marriage to a sadistic man, her kidnapping of her children after she lost custody, and her radical mastectomy. In her third searing, pared-to-the-bone memoir, Lawrence recounts nothing less than crimes against humanity. The disturbing disclosures build slowly as she revisits her first marriage to a physicist involved in making the first atomic bombs. They both work at the nuclear facility at Oak Ridge, Tennessee, then in a "hot" building for Monsanto Chemical Corporation, and later live outside Berkeley near a giant cyclotron. But no one makes the connection between these environs and Lawrence's many miscarriages. Like Terry Tempest Williams in Refuge (1991), Lawrence reveals with eloquent restraint and galvanizing personal evidence the tragic consequences of the government's reckless mishandling of nuclear materials in the hope that such abominations will never again take place. Donna Seaman
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