I have to deal with recurring flashbacks of my divorce, as kind of a mental trial or flaw in my character. Hearing that, you might think this disqualifies me from giving comments about what a healthy marriage should look like. ”Sounds like that guy’s not yet ‘healed,’ so what does he have offer me?” But I do in fact have hard-earned special insight into healthy marriages. I learned it the way we learned about healthy bodies in medical school: We studied diseased bodies. I got my insight by going through and reflecting extensively on my divorce. I’m your lab rat. Hear me roar.The pain of my divorce gives me a framework to apply to my condition, and to also benefit you if you find yourself slipping into what looks like what might be a divorce. Backing up a step further, you can benefit from my story before you even get married.
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