The Care and Feeding of Perfectionists - Softcover

Curnan, Cynthia

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1880823217 ISBN 13: 9781880823217

Publisher: North Star Pubns, 1998

Synopsis

Perfectionism has long been considered an isolated trait, and surprisingly little has been written on the subject. Now, in THE CARE AND FEEDING OF PERFECTIONISTS, a California psychotherapist shares her discoveries both personal and clinical about this driving force so prevalent in human nature. Writing with bold honesty and penetrating insight, Cynthia Curnan details the problem of perfectionism and also the possibilities for transformation when the condition is recognized and understood.

As Dr. Curnan points out, Perfectionism is not just about over achievement: some of the most severe perfectionists are underachievers. Perfectionism prevents intimacy, limits self-realization, inhibits the creative process, and causes the individual to not reach -- or to overreach -- to achieve desires. Addiction, in all its forms, is one of the most prevalent consequences of perfectionism.

The book distinguishes nine types of perfectionism, giving the most likely childhood causes and the specific underlying fears associated with each type. It guides readers to identify and counteract their unique perfectionistic subpersonalities, so that their innate human urge to seek excellence in accomplishments may become free to express itself.

Dr. Curnan outlines effective ways to master perfectionism, so that the reader may find deeper self-acceptance, a greater capacity to give and receive love, and a surer sense of being able to achieve personal and professional aims. Using these methods, she and her clients (some of whose stories appear in the book) have experienced a gradual lifting of deep-seated fears, a reclaiming of youthful vigor, and an abiding sense of life as a joyful adventure.

Psychotherapist Cynthia Curnan, Ph.D. has explored the many types of perfectionism in her busy, southern California practice. She demonstrates, through her own harrowing story, the origins of her perfectionism. And, using client profiles she show the reader the many guises of the Perfectionist, offering real-life solutions to career, family, and personal dilemmas. Exercises to master the Perfectionist in each of us are included. Curnan shows us how to access 'inner guidance' as one of the ways of dealing with this controlling aspect of ourselves which can cause both fatigue and pain. This book is a must for those of us who juggle too much, in an effort to be 'perfect.'

Every chapter of THE CARE AND FEEDING OF PERFECTIONISTS evokes conscious response within the reader. Cynthia's discoveries in her search for the Perfectionist shed light on universal social dilemmas. The reader will ask themselves "Am I doing this with my family? Is this why my job seems so difficult? Maybe there really isn't a problem with the boss, just a misunderstanding." Discover solutions to unsolved mysteries in your life, as this book creates a powerful response in each of us. Reading THE CARE AND FEEDING OF PERFECTIONISTS, will reveal answers for those hard questions we all must face in family, work, and social relationships.

About this title

From the Publisher

Trying to be the Super Mom? Super Executive? Super Volunteer? Super Partner? And maybe more than one -- without the fear of failing? Psychotherapist Cynthia Curnan Ph.D. suggests that it's more...much more than just balancing schedules or saying 'no' more often or coping with not enough time. It may be the out-of-control Perfectionist in us that is sabotaging the very things we set our minds to do. Do any of these scenarios ring true?

* You have a full time job and family commitments but they ask you to take on a major position in your womens group. How can you say 'no' but now you're panicked about getting all the work done. * You're burnt out in your job and are seriously thinking about a career change, but you're terrified about making a mistake. * You just met someone you feel totally in-sync with. Instead of letting the relationship evolve naturally (warts and all), you are determined to hide what you consider your flaws or weaknesses. * You've always wanted to paint but have never taken any art classes because you feel you won't be good enough.

If they do, you may be a 'closet perfectionist' limiting your capacity to enjoy life more fully. There are answers to identifying, accepting and coping with your Perfectionism allowing it to work for you, not against you.

Perfectionism has long been considered an isolated trait, and surprisingly little has been written on the subject. In THE CARE AND FEEDING OF PERFECTIONISTS, California psychologist Cynthia Curnan shares her discoveries, both personal and clinical, about this driving force so prevalent in human nature. Writing with honesty and insight, Dr. Curnan details the problem of perfectionism and also the possibilities for transformation when the condition is recognized and understood.

"This book is not about stripping away perfectionism," writes Dr. Curnan. "It is about sorting through it to find the aspects that hurt us and the ones that can help us. For when we let go of the parts that hurt us, they are replaced by what seem like miracles."

Perfectionism is not just about over achievement: some of the most severe perfectionists are underachievers because the fear of failure is too great to try something new. Perfectionism prevents intimacy, limits self-realization, inhibits the creative process, and causes the individual to not reach, or to overreach to achieve desires. Addiction, in all its forms, is one of the most prevalent consequences of perfectionism.

THE CARE AND FEEDING OF PERFECTIONISTS distinguishes nine types of perfectionism, giving the most likely childhood causes and the specific underlying fears associated with each type. It guides readers to identify and counteract their unique perfectionist subpersonalities, so that their innate human urge to seek excellence in accomplishments may become free to express itself. Dr. Curnan outlines effective ways to master perfectionism, so that the reader may find deeper self-acceptance, a greater capacity to give and receive love, and a surer sense of being able to achieve personal and professional aims. Using these methods, she and her clients (some of whose stories appear in the book) have experienced a gradual lifting of deep-seated fears, a reclaiming of youthful vigor, and an abiding sense of life as a joyful adventure.

About the Author

Cynthia Curnan was born in San Francisco, California, in 1950 and was raised in the San Francisco Bay Area, by her mother. They moved frequently and she spent her early life looking for God in the nearby churches and synagogue. Eventually she realized she was seeking the feeling of safety and guidance, that was not to be found in her home.

After periods of rebelliousness, self destruction, and illness, Cynthia launched a quest for inner guidance and a deeper sense of purpose. She studied different spiritual practices, gathering knowledge from each. She trained with a teacher and began facilitating inner guidance courses. Through this endeavor, Cynthia realized the unfinished business from her childhood was preventing her from creating a fulfilling life. She returned to school and began personal psychotherapy. During this period Cynthia discovered the extent of her perfectionism and began to free herself from its limitations. She became fascinated with the study of human behavior, particularly how perfectionism and inner guidance relate to personal achievement.

Cynthia received her Bachelors, Masters and Ph.D. in psychology from Ryokan College. She currently resides in Los Angeles, where she is a licensed psychotherapist, with a busy private practice counseling highly creative clients who lead highly stressful lives. Cynthia works with clients on the phone throughout the country, facilitates Inner Guidance trainings, and leads Sacred Wilderness Retreats for women. She is a recovering perfectionist; an artist; a seasoned world traveler. Her loves include a wonderful man, her son Chris, her grandson Hoku; nature, beauty, animals and laughter. Cynthia believes in living life as an adventure, and that the future includes the fulfillment of all our earliest aspirations.

About this edition

• Publisher: North Star Pubns
• Publication date: 1998
• ISBN 10: 1880823217
• ISBN 13: 9781880823217
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 196