Being Me, Loving You: A Practical Guide to Extraordinary Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides) - Softcover

Rosenberg PhD, Marshall B.

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1892005166 ISBN 13: 9781892005168

Publisher: PuddleDancer Press, 2005

Synopsis

Many of us think of love as a strong emotion, a feeling we have for another person. Marshall Rosenberg's helps us take a wholly different and life-enriching approach to love. Love is something you "do," something you give freely from the heart. Using the Nonviolent Communication (NVC) process, learn how to express yourself nakedly and honestly to your partner, friends, or family, for no other purpose than to reveal what's present or alive in you. Discover what thousands of people around the world already know: A heart to heart connection strengthened by joyfully giving and receiving is the love you long to experience.

Discover how to:
- Free yourself from the burden of proving your love and requiring proof in return
- Avoid doing anything out of guilt, resentment, shame or obligation
- Learn to effectively express how you are and what you need

About this title

About the Author

Marshall Rosenberg, PhD (1934–2015), was the founder and educational director of the Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC). He travelled throughout the world mediating conflict and promoting peace.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Being Me, Loving You

A Practical Guide to Extraordinary Relationships

By Marshall B. Rosenberg, Graham Van Dixhorn

PuddleDancer Press

Copyright © 2005 PuddleDancer Press
All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-892005-16-8

Contents

Introduction, 
A Typical Conflict, 
On the Subject of Marriage, 
Learning Through Four Questions, 
Role Plays, 
Expressing Appreciation, 
What Does It Take to Practice NVC?, 
What Love's Got to Do With It, 
Conclusion, 
The Four-Part Nonviolent Communication Process, 
Some Basic Feelings and Needs We All Have, 
About Nonviolent Communication, 
About PuddleDancer Press, 
About the Center for Nonviolent Communication, 
Trade Books From PuddleDancer Press, 
Trade Booklets From PuddleDancer Press, 
About the Author, 

CHAPTER 1

Being Me, Loving You

* * *

A Q&A Session With Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.

The following are excerpts from workshops and media interviews given by Marshall Rosenberg on the subject of intimacy and close, personal relationships. Through role-playing and discussion, Marshall touches on most of the key aspects of applying Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to create loving relationships with our partners, spouses, and family, while maintaining our personal integrity and values.

Introduction

So guess what happened today? I'm doing this relationship workshop in the evening, and I had a crisis at seven o'clock this morning. My wife called and asked me one of those questions that you just hate to have in a relationship at any time of the day, but especially at seven in the morning when you don't have your lawyer. What did she ask at seven o'clock in the morning? "Did I wake you up?" That question wasn't the hard one. She says, "I have a very important question: Am I attractive?" [Laughter] I hate those questions. That's like the time I came home after being on the road quite awhile and she asked me, "Can you see anything different in the house?" I looked and I looked: "No." She had painted the whole house! [Laughter]

I knew that question this morning was the kind that comes up in relationships. "Am I attractive?" Of course, as an NVC-speaking person, I could get out of that by claiming that it's not an NVC question, because we know that nobody "is" anything. Nobody is right, wrong, attractive, or unattractive. But I knew she wouldn't settle for any of that stuff, so I said, "You want to know if you're attractive?" She said, "Yes." "Sometimes yes, sometimes no; can I go back to bed?" [Laughter] She liked that, thank goodness, thank goodness! In one of my favorite books, How to Make Yourself Miserable, by Dan Greenberg, you see this dialog:

"Do you love me? Now, this is very important to me. Think it over: Do you love me?"

"Yes."

"Please, this is very important; give it very serious consideration: Do you love me?"

(Period of silence) "Yes."

"Then why did you hesitate?" [Laughter]

People can change how they think and communicate. They can treat themselves with much more respect, and they can learn from their limitations without hating themselves. We teach people how to do this. We show people a process that can help them connect with the people they're closest to in a way that can allow them to enjoy deeper intimacy, to give to one another with more enjoyment, and to not get caught up in doing things out of duty, obligation, guilt, shame, and the other things that destroy intimate relationships. We show people how to enjoy working cooperatively in a working community. W

Edition details

• Publisher: PuddleDancer Press
• Publication date: 2005
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 1892005166
• ISBN 13: 9781892005168
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 80