Razoo At The Races - Softcover

West, Gary; Small, Marvin

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1892668092 ISBN 13: 9781892668097

Publisher: Prospect Pr, 1999

Synopsis

Razoo At The Races: Diary of a Horseplayer is one of the funniest books ever written about the racetrack and the sport of horse racing. It's fast, it's witty, and it brings to life the hilarious cast of characters who inhabit the racing world. Gary West entertains readers with the antics of Razoo, Mission Impossible, Brewery Bill and others_the stand-up guys, dreamers, and risk-takers seen at every racetrack around the country_during a full season at Upsand Downs (Season's Results: $14,850). Along the way, West provides horseplaying wisdom and insight, and invites readers into the game by serving as an entertaining handicapping guide.

The racetrack has always been a sanctuary for characters of variegated swath, for people who eschew convention but at the same time cling steadfastly to personal standards. They're horseplayers. Most desire only the freedom to return day after day to the racetrack and, of course, the capital to invest in the next winner. They always have the next winner. They may well be the few true romantics remaining in this techno-time of ours, for they're forever chasing dreams and with a mystical belief in "luck." These are the characters that West portrays, with both humor and affection.

West also manages to capture the magic of the racetrack and the sport of horse racing, "the most noble of sports." In chapter 23 he describes a "Morning at the Racetrack," where he revels in the sights, sounds, smells, and the beauty and majesty of the thoroughbred racehorse. He sees a spiritual quality, a purity of purpose, about racehorses, that is most evident in the mornings. And morning sessions, watching and listening to horses and clocking their workouts, provide him with his biggest edge as a horseplayer.

In the Gambler's Miscellany, Marvin Small (a.k.a. Mission Impossible) provides rich entertainment in an assortment of racing doggerel and verse. Small's Gambler's Glossary provides a helpful and witty guide to standard racetrack "Gambleze" and to "Betting Types."

All in all, Razoo at the Races is a unique, fast, and funny book, with much wisdom, appreciation, and insights into the sport of horseracing and its avid followers.

About this title

About the Author

Gary West writes about horse racing regularly as a columnist for the Dallas Morning News. The son of a jockey, West was a college teacher before returning to the racetrack and writing. He has appeared as a commentator on racing on ESPN and on CNN, and has hosted his own radio program on racing.

Marvin Small, is a former State Racing Commissioner for Washington, occasional writer for several newspapers, handicapper, and profound lover of racing.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Chapter 1: Opening Day at the Raves Located somewhere between here and there, Upsand Downs is an ideal racetrack. For me, that means the racing is good, the betting enthusiastic and the beer cold. Well, fairly cold. And what more, other than a few winners, could a horseplayer desire? . . .

For 100 years or so, the Upsand Downs racing season has begun in late spring and continued briefly into early summer, when both horse and man yield to mosquito. A sojourn to Upsand Downs is a regular highlight of many schedules, a fixture on many calendars. Many of the same folks seem to show up for the races year after year. People come here literally from all around the country, and because horse racing lies at the center of several local circles of festivity and celebration, many big-shot trainers and jockeys and owners prefer the Upsand Downs season to all others. At least that's what they say for the benefit of the local press.

Opening day, of course, is a celebration of appearances. State and local VIPs make their obligatory, annual visits to the track; young women seize the moment as an opportunity to display their figures made svelte after a month of fasting; horseplayers, without a stage for so long, finally can show off their bankrolls or their prowess; and horsemen show off their prospects in the Debutante and Juvenile Stakes.

As for me, I always hang out in the Paddock Bar, also know as the watering hole or, simply, Razoo's office. As ya might guess, it overlooks the paddock, where the horses are saddled before each race. I like to see what I'm betting on; that way, if I bet on a loser, I can have a clear picture in my mind of the animal and the jockey responsible for my unhappiness. And the society at the Paddock Bar is generally the most agreeable at the racetrack. Trainers sometimes stop by on their way to saddling or unsaddling; many of the serious horseplayers spend party of their day there. Anybody wanting to know the skinny on a horse or a race is likely to start his inquiry at the Paddock Bar, for that's where the "smarts" hang out. Some of the "dumbs," too, I'm afraid.

Brewery Bill, who's one of the "smarts," is a regular at the Paddock Bar `cause, he says, its draught beer is the coldest at the track. When he saw me today, Brewery Bill didn't bother with greeting or chit-chat. He didn't ask about my health or about what I had been doing since we last saw each other, nearly a month ago in New Orleans, at the old Fair Grounds racetrack. No, Brewery Bill struck right at the heart of what was important in life.

"Ya like anything today, Razoo?" Brewery Bill asked as he bellied up to the bar, and he was preeminently equipped to belly up to a bar. Without asking, he knew I would drink with him, and so he ordered two of the coldest.

Ya know I don't bet on opening day," I told him. Unless a horse is running that I've been waiting on for a while, I leave my money in my pocket on the first day of any race meeting. It's part superstition, part tradition and part prudence. I usually just watch, get a feel for how the track's playing and the wind's blowing.

"Yeah, I know, Razoo," he said, "but I thought ya might have a bankable opinion or might have heard something. I was thinking of betting some Doubles with Easy Money."

Easy Money was the 3-1 favorite in the first race. And based on his record, four wins from his last seven starts, he deserved the honored role. But I didn't much care for him. He always walked out of the starting gate and charged from far back. Although that running style thrills the multitude, it often works for horses the way booze works for gents. It gets `em in trouble. A late-runner might have to race five or six wide in the turn, or he might get stopped in traffic just at the crucial moment.

And I sure wasn't gonna bet on such a horse in the first race of the year. What if the surface was speed biased, what if front-runners took out a long-term lease on the winner's circle, what if Easy Money didn't have an ounce of a chance because of his running style _ I couldn't know because I hadn't seen a solitary race.

"He's the best horse," I said, "but I'm gonna pass."

Of course Easy Money won. A long shot took the second race, and Brewery Bill clobbered the Daily Double, making about $500 and ordering us another round of refreshment.

A few moments later, Benny-Can-Ya-Lend-Me-A-Penny came by the office. Now, Benny's a good guy basically, but it's usually hard to tell. He's usually looking for an easy buck for somebody who'll provide an easy buck so that he can bet the next race. So when I saw him, I instinctively put a hand on my wallet. But Benny didn't need any money _ he said he just hit the daily double and didn't everybody. He was looking for information.

"Hey, Razoo, ya hear anything of the four horse in here?" Benny asked. Another of Benny's faults is that forgets horses have names, not just numbers. "I was gonna make a significant investment in his direction, if ya know what I mean, but I was a little worried on account of he ain't run in five months."

I looked at my program and saw that No. 4 was Wayne's Ridge, a high-level claimer and occasional allowance horse. In his last race in New Orleans, he bled. By that, I mean he bled in his lungs, which, as ya might imagine, didn't contribute much to a winning attitude. In fact, it caused him to have a tough time breathing. Wayne's Ridge didn't bleed as profusely as some do, but the bleeding was enough to wipe out any thought he had of running that day. The medication Lasix can usually, but not always, prevent bleeding. Wayne's Ridge was racing on Lasix today. I told Benny what I knew.

"So I guess yous guys are gonna bet on the four," Benny said, "nodding at Brewery Bill and me.

"Not me," I said. "He's been off five months, and so I suspect bleeding isn't his only problem. He's the best horse, but I'll pass."

Of course, Wayne's Ridge won. He paid $14.20, and after the race, Benny stopped by the office to ask if I needed to borrow any money. I didn't smack him . . .

Edition details

• Publisher: Prospect Pr
• Publication date: 1999
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 1892668092
• ISBN 13: 9781892668097
• Binding: Paperback
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 206