From the beginning of an officer's career they are trained to control their emotions, and thus are accused of being cold-hearted. Spouses agree that law enforcement officers grapple with the real-life horrors on the job and that the bitter belief that 'cops don't cry' is sadly untrue.
Policing is a consuming profession with incredibly high elements of stress. Research suggests that police divorce rates are more than double the national average of ordinary marriages. The spouse's fear of physical danger, adjusting to shift work, transfers, and changes in the officer's personality are only a few of the contributing factors, but the most crucial problem is the breakdown of communication within the relationship.
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Vali Stone was born in Toronto, Ontario, and now resides in Newmarket with her husband Paul, a police constable with Toronto Police Service, and their two children, Michelle and Trevor. A graduate of York University, she has published poetry, written a weekly newspaper column, and is a regular contributor to a police magazine.
Vali has formed support groups and worked intensively with police spouses to better understand the dynamics of the police family. She has developed a wellness program for police departments and speaks at conferences throughout Canada and the United States.
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