Synopsis
A hilarious, charming, and foul-mouthed look inside the minds of man's best friends
What is my dog thinking? That's the question that every dog owner asks when their beloved pet stares up at them with an inscrutable look. Is it love? Is it devotion? Don’t believe it. This book exclusively reveals what really goes on in the canine mind. With utterly charming, heart-melting cartoons and riotous, potty-mouthed captions, readers can discover that man's best friend is just as grumpy, cynical, and self-serving as his master. This is an unforgettable, twisted look at the many bizarre, ridiculous, and instantly recognizable scenarios in which dog owners find their pets every day.
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About the Author
Adrian Searle works in design and publishing, edits the literary magazine Gutter, and has edited a number of award-winning anthologies. Judith Hastie is the illustrator of 101 Uses of a Dead Kindle.Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
If Dogs Could Swear
By Adrian Searle, Judith HastieFreight Books
Copyright © 2013 Adrian Searle and Judith Hastie
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-908754-26-4All rights reserved.
CHAPTER 1
My arse isn't itchy, it's just the static from this carpet makes my balls tingle
And while you're there, could you dislodge that Rolex I swallowed?
Say hello to my little friend
If we see that sexy bitch from No 43 you're on your fucking own, mate
So glad you're home ... I shat all over the dining-room and now I need you to clean it up
This little gizmo helps me smell out rotting roadkill with 45% improved accuracy
If you do that pretend throw thing again, I'm going to sink my teeth into your fucking crotch
I'm getting gooseberries, cabbage and clams, with notes of horsemeat
And since it's my birthday, I suppose a butt plug is out of the question?
You may have just given me this, but you're still a twat
I like a bit of bondage as much as the next dog but you guys are fucking obsessed
(Continues...)
Excerpted from If Dogs Could Swear by Adrian Searle, Judith Hastie. Copyright © 2013 Adrian Searle and Judith Hastie. Excerpted by permission of Freight Books.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
"About this title" may belong to another edition of this title.
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If Dogs Could Swear
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