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Camille Virginia is an award-winning writer, founder of Master Offline Dating, and author of the best-selling book The Offline Dating Method - her 3-step process to help singles ditch the dating apps and attract a great partner in the real world.
Go for Depth, Not Breadth
The fastest way to turn a conversation into an interview is by constantly switching topics, which prevents going deeper into any one of them.
For example, I had a dinner date with a man who played a not-so-fun game of 20 Questions. It was almost as if he had a set of “Completely Unrelated Questions to Ask on a Date” and was simply going down the list. He would ask one and I would answer, but when I tried to ask it back to him, he was already onto the next random question which had nothing to do with the previous one. We ran out of things to talk about in about ten minutes and our food hadn’t even arrived yet. On the flip side, if we had gone deeper on any one of those questions, we could have talked about it for hours.
So instead of jumping around, find a topic you’re genuinely interested in and ask insightful questions about it until it naturally segues to another interesting topic. To go deeper on a specific topic, ask questions related to how someone thinks or feels, or the “why” behind what they did.
Examples of feeling, thinking, and “why” questions:
• “How do you feel about that?” • “Why did you do that?” • “What made you say that?” • “What was running through your head?” • “Tell me more!”
As you go deeper, be prepared to find out fascinating things you never knew or could have guessed about the other person. Heck, they’ll find out fascinating things about themselves they never knew, because they haven’t been asking themselves thought-provoking questions like that.
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