Hidden Addiction - Softcover

Van Der Post, Marcus

Softcover

ISBN 10: 3982682916 ISBN 13: 9783982682914

Publisher: Reader Advanced, 2025

Synopsis

In today's fast-paced, achievement-driven world, many individuals grapple with a silent epidemic: 'Hidden Addiction'. Unlike more visible forms of substance abuse, hidden addictions often masquerade as socially acceptable behaviours, making them difficult to recognise and address. These addictions can range from workaholism and excessive exercise to compulsive online shopping and unhealthy relationships, in this case, alcohol and cocaine abuse. The pressure to maintain a perfect facade and the fear of judgment often prevent those suffering from seeking help. They may appear successful and well-adjusted on the outside, while internally battling feelings of shame, isolation, and despair. Studies show that hidden addictions can significantly impact mental health, leading to anxiety, depression, and even suicidal thoughts. It's a crisis that affects millions, yet remains largely unspoken. This book is about discovering the root causes of Marcus 'Hidden Addiction.

About this title

About the Author

Marcus, a Dutch man based in Berlin, weaves his personal experiences into captivating narratives of self-discovery and healing. His background in sales and training provides a unique lens through which he explores the complexities of human connection, vulnerability, and the transformative power of authenticity.

'Wine in hand, head in the sand,' is how Marcus describes his way of life before a traumatic event forced him to confront the life he was living - and the roots of that life. Marcus's writing delves into themes of addiction, mental health, and the challenges of navigating life as a highly sensitive individual diagnosed with ADHD. His stories resonate with readers, offering a space for empathy, understanding, and hope. Through his work, Marcus invites us to embrace our own vulnerabilities, confront our past, and step into the light of self-acceptance. He believes that being honest with oneself is the first and most crucial step towards healing and living a fulfilling life.

From the Back Cover

Hidden Addiction: A Journey from Self-Destruction to Self-Love
In this raw and inspiring memoir, Marcus bares his soul, taking us on his courageous journey to break free from the grip of 'Hidden Addiction', self-doubt, and the weight of societal expectations. From a turbulent childhood to a whirlwind of relationships and the search for purpose, Marcus shares his personal struggles and triumphs with unflinching honesty.
"Therapy is for everyone".
Through therapy, Rapid Transformational Therapy (Hypnosis), mindfulness, family constellation work, and deep self-reflection, he uncovers the root causes of his destructive patterns and learns to embrace his true self. He challenges societal norms, including rejecting the often inhumane communication styles prevalent in the world of online dating. He confronts his inner demons and ultimately finds the strength to build a life filled with genuine self-expression, purpose, and love.
"Hidden Addiction" is a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the transformative power of self-acceptance. Marcus's story will deeply resonate with anyone who has ever felt lost, alone, or trapped in a cycle of self-destructive behaviours and patterns.
If you're seeking guidance on your own journey to self-discovery and healing, this book offers invaluable tools and insights. Let Marcus' story inspire you to look within, confront your past, and unlock the door to a brighter, more fulfilling future.

• Discover the courage to break free from self-destructive patterns
  
• Learn to identify and heal from past traumas
  
• Embrace your true self and live a life of authenticity
  
• Find hope and inspiration in Marcus' powerful transformation
  

This book is your guide, offering practical tools on how to write your own story using AI to help structure your thoughts. Before you know it, you'll be deeply immersed in the process, writing your own story, gaining a deeper understanding of your struggles, and focusing on the changes you can and perhaps should make for a better life.

From the Inside Flap

Communication breakdowns often lead to a spiral of negative emotions. That's exactly
what happened to me when I kept my first drink a secret. Here's the story.
It was a three-week family camping trip in Pécs, Hungary. Back then, Hungary was a
budget-friendly destination for Western Europeans, and our daily allowance meant we
could buy whatever food and drinks we wanted. The campsite was bustling with kids my
age and older. My Australian cousin, Shannon (we got along well despite occasional
squabbles), was there too, a cool 16-year-old. My aunt, uncle, their two daughters (12
and 14), and some family friends with children also joined us.
This large group offered plenty of freedom. Different areas within the campsite allowed
us to roam relatively unsupervised. Downstairs by the pool area, there were cafes
serving food and drinks, along with a billiard table and a jukebox. It was an
'unsupervised' haven for us kids.
While I played with kids of various ages, I gravitated towards the older ones. Shannon,
smitten with a boy her age, was introduced to me by him - the one who offered me my
first beer. The thrill of hanging out with this group was intoxicating, especially since my
parents were likely preoccupied with their own socialising further up the campsite.
20In my early years of drinking, I rarely got drunk - a seemingly strong tolerance. Here, I
was only twelve, but did not have any trouble drinking beer without losing my senses.
The older kids, impressed by my apparent toughness, even gave me a nickname:
"Pietje" (Dutch for "Peter"). "Pietje, wil je nog een biertje?" ("Pietje, want another
beer?"). My memories blur regarding the number of nights spent at that cafe or the
actual amount I drank, but for a twelve-year-old, it was definitely excessive. My ability to
avoid drunkenness made hiding it from my parents all too easy.
A Difficult Encounter
This same vacation also brought my first sexual experience, which was unwanted
despite my initial curiosity. As I mentioned earlier, I was starting to explore my sexuality.
I knew I was attracted to boys, but not exclusively, as I liked girls too. Curiosity, fueled
perhaps by the beers, led me to challenge the older boys to experiment.
One particular boy, a 16-year-old from another family, joined me after hanging out at the
cafe. It began innocently, but he quickly became forceful and overpowered me. Our tent
wasn't far from my parents, positioned slightly lower on the campsite. Though I tried to
stay quiet, the situation escalated, and I screamed.
My mother rushed down to check on me. Obviously shaken, I panicked, fearing she'd
discover I was having sex, especially with a boy. Back then, my mom wasn't very
accepting of homosexuality. Any visible homosexual behaviour on TV would trigger a
comment from her, amplifying my fear of her finding out this huge secret. When she
asked if I was alright, I lied, claiming it was just a nightmare. The boy hid in the back of
the tent, and luckily, despite his large army boots near the entrance, she didn't
recognise them as not belonging to me.
Once she left, I kicked him out, as terrified as he was of getting caught he left without
anything else happening.
For the remaining two weeks, he bullied me, calling me names (faggot, sissy etc.) and
fueling the taunts of other kids. While he was scared, he kept his distance, likely fearing
I'd expose his actions. I was scared as well, of my parents finding out, and of being
judged by all others.
I kept this experience buried for years, even into adulthood, avoiding the associated
emotions. While it didn't stop me from exploring my sexuality, it undeniably tainted the
concept for a long time.
21So back to the drinking as this is an important topic for me in this book.
A Growing Dependence.
This first taste of alcohol was just the beginning, but it wasn't an immediate problem. I
was captivated by the feeling of lowered inhibitions and a surge of courage.
By the time I was 15 or 16, my desire for that feeling intensified. If I had the chance to
visit a club or a bar, I was thrilled to feel the excitement and the buzz of being
intoxicated. By 18, working in Rotterdam's restaurants, bars, and clubs, alcohol became
a daily habit. It was not a problem back then, but it sure was excessive. The start of a
routine that would eventually cost me more than it would give me.
Unlike my non-social parents who never frequented those places, I thrived on the city's
vibrant nightlife. I quickly built a large social circle and was constantly on the go. The
local gay bars became my haunt, sometimes as early as 5 pm, even before work, and
definitely afterwards. A strong feeling of FOMO, it felt like missing out if I wasn't there.
As mentioned before, my seemingly high tolerance lasted for years. I could drink heavily
without appearing tired or slurring my speech. I liked the self-confident feeling it gave
me and the courage to do whatever it was that I wanted and also to talk to whoever I
wanted. It hushed down the voice I would hear in the back of my head who was always
overthinking and giving me guilty feelings about being myself without any fears.
Accepting my true self and also understanding what was happening to me at the time is
actually getting clearer to me now that I write down my feelings and thoughts about the
early years of my adult life.
Given a chance, I'd love to rewind and have a heart-to-heart with that younger me.
Imagine us sitting down, me with the knowledge I have now, and him, filled with the
curiosity and confusion of youth.
I'd delve into his world, asking: "What is it about this drink that pulls you in? How does it
change the way you see things?"
These wouldn't be accusatory questions, but a genuine desire to understand. I'd want to
offer support, to guide him in navigating the complexities of life.
22Realisation:
Forget blind obedience - I'm all about understanding the "why" behind everything.
This focus on the deeper meaning fuels a powerful combination: achieving goals and
having fun along the way. After all, when you grasp the "why," the "how" becomes
infinitely easier and more enjoyable.
I think most of us, as children, find it difficult to speak about topics that are burdened with
stigma. But would it not be better if we could speak out more?

Edition details

• Publisher: Reader Advanced
• Publication date: 2025
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 3982682916
• ISBN 13: 9783982682914
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 208