But You Know How: Parenting Young Children Ages 0–4: Why They Know What to Do but Can’t Always Do It—and How to Help (Parenting by Age) - Softcover

Omes, Julian

Softcover

ISBN 13: 9798194417230

Publisher: Independently published, 2026

Synopsis

Your child can know what to do—and still be unable to use what they know when the moment gets harder.

A three-year-old can know the playground is closing and still fall apart when it is time to leave. A child can know the morning routine and collapse over a sock. They can say “my turn” all week and grab the toy anyway.

But You Know How is a developmental road map for parents of babies, toddlers, and preschoolers. Instead of treating tantrums, transitions, sleep, separation, first limits, hitting, and daily resistance as unrelated problems, it shows what early action is actually learning to carry.

Across ages 0–4, four developmental lines become increasingly visible:

HOLD A GOAL — keep a small goal or rule available when something else pulls harder.

ACT WITH ANOTHER PERSON — use another person’s attention, answer, or action inside what happens next.

SEE HOW THINGS FIT — let relations such as before and after, bigger and smaller, or what belongs where guide action.

LEARN FROM WHAT HAPPENED — let a result, mistake, or new information change the next attempt.

Through ordinary family scenes, you will learn how to:

• read what a difficult moment is actually asking of your child;
• notice when body state, pressure, or context has made the work harder;
• distinguish unwillingness from an ability that is not yet reliably available;
• make one useful change without taking the child’s real work away.

The book addresses first limits, difficult transitions, separation and drop-off, dressing and toothbrushing, sleep and night waking, play and turns, tantrums and hitting—and the question of when a difficult pattern deserves a wider look.

The goal is not perfect behavior. It is to see what is being built now, what is making it difficult to use today, and what will help that growing capacity carry a little more real life next time.

Previously published as Parenting Ages 0–4 by Julian Omes.

About this title

About the Author

Julian Omes is a researcher and writer focused on developmental psychology, human adaptation, timing, transfer, and the structure of change across childhood, adolescence, and adult life. His analytical background shapes a practical approach to parenting: separate visible behavior from the work a situation actually requires, keep explanations open to correction, and judge growth by what becomes usable across real conditions.
Parenting by Age is the age-based branch of the Human Architecture Library, following how the same developmental work changes as children carry more across time, relationships, environments, and responsibility.

Edition details

• Publisher: Independently published
• Publication date: 2026
• Language: English
• ISBN 13: 9798194417230
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 128