The Anxious Perfectionist: How to Manage Perfectionism-Driven Anxiety Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

Is your perfectionism causing you anxiety, stress, and worry?

If you identify as a perfectionist, you may not see your perfectionism as a problem. But striving for unrealistic standards, basing your self-worth on meeting those standards, and engaging in persistent self-criticism will ultimately lead to anxiety, stress, worry, burnout, and unhappiness. So, how can you distinguish between “helpful” and “hurtful” perfectionism and stop holding yourself and others to unrealistically high standards?

Written by two clinical psychologists, The Anxious Perfectionist shines a much-needed light on the hidden costs of “being the best,” and offers essential skills based in acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) to help you cope with the anxiety that is driven by your perfectionism. You’ll learn how your “need to be perfect” can actually hinder your productivity, and keep you from reaching your goals. You’ll also learn skills to help you gain distance from negative self-talk and criticism, let go of unhelpful and self-limiting labels such as “success” or “failure,” and give yourself and others permission to make mistakes while still honoring your high aspirations.

If you’re struggling with feelings of anxiety and stress, and suspect your perfectionism may be to blame, this guide will show you how to stop getting in the way of your own success, and live a life guided by your deepest values.

Clarissa W. Ong, PhD, is a postdoctoral associate at the Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders at Boston University. She received her doctoral degree in clinical/counseling psychology from Utah State University, and completed her clinical internship at McLean Hospital/Harvard Medical School. Her research interests include acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), process-based therapy, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), hoarding disorder, and perfectionism. She has contributed to more than sixty peer-reviewed publications and a book. She has also received funding from the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS).

Michael P. Twohig, PhD, is well known for his work in ACT and OCD, which is closely related to perfectionism. Twohig is professor in the psychology department at Utah State University. He is past president of the ACBS, and a current member of the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies (ABCT). He has written more than 170 peer-reviewed publications, seven books, and has received funding from many organizations, including the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH).

Foreword writer Randy O. Frost, PhD, teaches abnormal psychology at Smith College in Northampton, MA. He is coauthor of Buried in Treasures.