How to Argue So Your Spouse Will Listen : 6 Principles for Turning Arguments into Conversations

If you are a couple, you've most likely had an argument. Big or small, it can ruin your day and, even worse, your relationship. Dr. Sharon Morris May says, "It's not how similar you are or even your level of conflict that determines your marital success but how you deal with your emotions, vulnerabilities, and dragons when you argue."

Dr. Sharon views conflict through the lens of the attachment theory, helping us understand: why we argue, how we argue, and how to unravel our arguments. She helps us identify what's really going on in our brains and body when we argue, the cycles we get stuck in, the emotions fueling the cycles, and then helps us to argue in more considerate and connecting ways. She also offers six practical principles that help turn arguments into conversations:

• Establish a Safe Haven
• Comfort Dragons
• Get Inside Emotions
• Learn How to Complain
• Learn How to Apologize
• Bookend it with Good Times

Learning how to argue so your spouse will listen will change your marriage and change your life!

Sharon Morris May, Ph.D. is the originator of the highly acclaimed Haven of Safety Marriage Relationship Intensives and Conferences at the Hart Institute in Pasadena, California.  With a doctorate in marriage and family therapy from Fuller Graduate School of Psychology, Dr. Sharon is an internationally known expert in emotionally focused therapy.  Author of Safe Haven Marriage, as well as numerous articles and chapters in books on relationships, she is the contributing editor for Marriage and Family: A Christian Journal.  Dr. Sharon and her husband, Mike, live in Southern California surrounded by their four sons.