The Austere Academy (Series of Unfortunate Events)

The three Baudelaire orphans Violet, Klaus and little Sunny, arrive at the Prufrock Preparatory School, only to be met by the unpleasant bully, Carmelita Spats. The children must go to the Orphan's Shack, where fungus grows and crabs live.

Author Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. He is a broken man, wracked with misery and despair as a result of writing 'A Series Of Unfortunate Events'. He spends his days wandering the countryside weeping and moaning and his evenings eating hastily-prepared meals. He has also written the mystery series 'All the Wrong Questions'.