BIFF for CoParent Communication: Your Guide to Difficult Texts, Emails, and Social Media Posts

"Coparenting is hard in any circumstance and when doing it with someone that has a high conflict personality, can seem impossible. The first step is to admit that you are outmatched in every way except for the ability to learn new skills related to the high conflict personality. My life did not change until I began to read and understand and start using tools like BIFF. I couldn’t help my children because I couldn’t help myself and until I learned new tools, felt hopeless. Using BIFF will give you hope that change is possible.” A.C., parent

Use BIFF to Communicate with Your Ex's Blaming, Accusing and Taunting Texts and Emails

In divorce and co-parenting, not only do you need to deal with your own emotions, you may be faced with a daily barrage of hostile calls, texts, email, and social media blasts. How can you regain a sense of control and peace for your own sake and for the kids?

For more than a decade, the BIFF method of responding to hostile and misinforming emails, texts, and conversations has grown in use by thousands of people dealing with a difficult co-parent and with those who may have a high conflict personality, and it helps with those who don't. This third book in the BIFF™ Conflict Communication Series is especially devoted to parents dealing with issues during, and after, separation and divorce. Complete with instructions in the four-step BIFF method, and numerous practical examples, readers will learn the intricacies of their new parenting environment.

When parents use this approach, not only do they feel good about their end of the written or verbal conversation, but it tends to influence the other parent to communicate more productively as well. While it's simple and practical, it's not natural for most of us because we are hooked by the emotional intensity. This book can help you reduce the conflict and regain your sanity by learning what to write and what not to write.

Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm

BIFF is a communication game changer―it works!

Bill Eddy is a lawyer, therapist, mediator, and the co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute. He was the senior family mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist lawyer representing clients in family court for 15 years, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker therapist with twelve years of experience. He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has been a speaker and trainer in over 30 U.S. states and 10 countries. He is the author or co-author of twenty books and has a popular blog on the Psychology Today website with over 4 million views. Bill lives in San Diego, California.

Annette Burns is an attorney and a certified Family Law Specialist, practicing in Arizona. She is a past president of the international interdisciplinary organization the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC), a nonprofit organization of over 5000 international family law related professionals. She has been a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML), a national organization composed of the nation’s top attorneys since 2001. She is a co-author of the Thompson Reuters publication Arizona Family Law Rules Handbook and she served on every Arizona Supreme Court Committee that created, adopted and revised the Arizona Rules of Family Law Procedure from 2003 through the present. Her awards include the Community Legal Services/ Children’s Law Center Mentor of the Year Award and the State Bar of Arizona Family Law Section Lifetime Achievement Award. She has been named a SuperLawyer every year from 2007-2020 and one of Superlawyers’ Arizona’s Top Female Attorneys in 2013, 2014 and 2019. Her private practice in Arizona focuses on family law, including a wide variety of neutral positions including parenting coordination, mediation, Special Master, expert witness opinions, and the representation of children. Annette lives in Scottsdale, Arizona.

Kevin Chafin is a mediator and Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice in Kansas City, Missouri. He is the current president of the board of the Missouri Chapter of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (MO–AFCC.) He has more than 30 years' experience with family and domestic court systems. Coparenting counseling is a large part of his practice, often with high conflict families. He is a regular presenter on topics related to mediation as well as court involved counseling with parents and children. Kevin lives and practices in the vibrant Westport area of Kansas City, Missouri.