Become a Dictator: A Short and Snappy Guide

“Hey, have you ever thought of becoming a dictator of some country and terrorizing its people for a few decades? Or dream of ruling the world by squelching free speech and crushing your enemies?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“No? Not even once?”

“No.”

“Come on, don’t lie! Didn’t your mother teach you not to lie? Everyone wants to rule the world. It is an inbuilt desire and everyone has illusions of grandeur and living in the lap of luxury. Don’t feel embarrassed to admit it. There are few minds to which tyranny is not delightful. Who will say no to the delicious opportunity of becoming an emperor of a kingdom, owning a few magnificent palaces, a set of luxury cars, a dozen private jets, swimming pools, sacks of gold, and acquiring a few other basic necessities if given a chance? Who cares about what the peasants and commoners think? Look, I can even coach you on how to become a dictator. Sounds interesting?”

“Hmm, I am still not sure.”

“No? Still can’t decide? Really? That’s too bad! Okay, then I will ask your neighbor if he is interested.”

“Hey, wait! Don’t go away.”

“Aha, now I can see what you are thinking! I knew you would see the light. You do want to know how to become a dictator, right? Then look no further. Everything you wanted to know about how to become a dictator, but were too embarrassed to ask is available right here in this concise guide. It contains the most comprehensive specifications and do’s & don’ts for every aspiring dictator. There is no need to read thick boring books on history, communism, etc. So let us get started before somebody else beats you to it.”