Beneficial Murders

Deeply upset by rampant naughtiness, Santa Claus decides to launch nuclear missiles at the world. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer argues he’s being too rash, that not all humans are bad. Santa agrees to cancel the missile strike if he can find someone who will slay twenty-nine bad people by Christmas Eve. He settles on his kin Sam Mollusk of Poway, California. Sam begins by killing the neighborhood terrorist. Medusa, lonely for millennia because of the snakes on her head, loves Sam and follows his every move. Meanwhile, root-beer-loving Afghan terrorists Nar and Salah are hoping to gain membership in Poway’s Al Qaeda cell and become Tupperware salesmen as cover. Can Sam prevent Al Qaeda’s fiendish plot and Santa’s nuclear holocaust? Will Sam survive shopping WalMart on Christmas Eve?

Paul De Lancey's cookbook, Eat Me, 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World and his novels We're French and You're Not and The Fur West have won acclaim from award-winning novelists. He is also the author of hilarious articles and somewhat drier ones in Economics. Paul, known to his friends as Paul, was the proud co-host of the online literary events Bump Off Your Enemies and The Darwin Murders. He also co-collected, co-edited, and co-published the e-book anthologies resulting from these events. The humorist is a direct descendant of the great French Emperor Napoleon. Actually, that explains a lot of things. Paul ran for President of the United Statesin 2012! Woo hoo! On the Bacon & Chocolate ticket. Estimates of Bacon & Chocolate's share of the votes range from 3 to 1.5% of the total. El Candidato also lost a contentious campaign to be El Presidente of Venezuela. Mr. De Lancey makes his home, with his wonderful family, in Poway, California. He divides his time between being awake and asleep.