Bonded by Evolution: The new science of finding and keeping love

A ground-breaking look at the science of love and connection – and an urgent corrective to some of our most fundamental assumptions about attraction.

'In a world saturated with cynical advice about dating and gender, this book is a revelation.' DANIEL H. PINK, author of Drive and The Power of Regret

'One of the most joyfully uplifting antidotes to 21st-century gloom.' THE TIMES
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We’re told that what men and women desire from relationship is different – he’s looking for novelty, she’s looking for commitment; he’s concerned with looks, she’s concerned with status.

We’re told that we live in a hierarchy of romantic inequality – where some are 10s and others are 2s; where some people are marriage material and others are wired for promiscuity.

But this narrative is unscientific.

Such ideas have their roots in a branch of science called evolutionary psychology, and over the past few decades its ideas have permeated our culture and fuelled a narrative that inspires despair and anxiety – and, in its most extreme form, these ideas have been hijacked in the service of misogyny and violence.

But the truth about human attraction – and the way evolution plays out in our romantic lives – is much more interesting and optimistic.

Bonded by Evolution offers a radical new picture of the roots of enduring chemistry. Distilling evolutionary biology, anthropology and psychology and informed by his pathbreaking research and original experiments at the Attraction and Relationships Research Laboratory in California, psychology professor Paul Eastwick reveals how attraction is best depicted as a process of finding – and, often, creating – a compatible relationship.

Once we understand how ancestral humans sought compatible partners in small networks, we can build a clearer – and brighter – picture of how attraction, sex and relationships really work.

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More praise for Bonded by Evolution:

'Profound and pragmatic, suggesting an entirely different approach to the study – and pursuit – of love.' ERIC KLINENBERG, co-author of Modern Romance

'Rarely have scientific rigor and exuberant optimism been such congenial companions . . . Bonded by Evolution presents an optimistic new paradigm, one that provides clear guidance for romantic success.' ELI FINKEL, author of The All or Nothing Marriage

Paul Eastwick is a Professor of Psychology at UC Davis, where he serves as the head of the Social-Personality Psychology program and the director of the Attraction and Relationships Research Laboratory. Thousands of undergraduate students have taken his course on attraction and close relationships, and he has published over one hundred scientific articles and chapters and won numerous early career awards. His research and writing has been featured in outlets like The New York Times, The Atlantic, NPR, and Scientific American Mind. He hosts the popular podcast Love Factually with his long-time colleague, Eli Finkel, where they analyze rom-coms and romantic dramas from the perspective of relationship science. He earned his bachelor’s degree at Cornell University and his PhD at Northwestern University.