Born Gay Not Homosexual: Why Desire Does Not Have To Define Destiny

Are we defined by our desires, or do we have the power to shape who we become?

Bestselling author Robert Bautner has spent a lifetime wrestling with that question.

For anyone who has ever wondered whether desires, traumas, or diagnoses have the final word, this book offers a different answer, one rooted in a unique combination of personal agency, pure authenticity, and triumph over circumstances.

His story began with wounds no child should endure. Raised in an environment of physical and emotional abuse, suffering a sexual assault and a suicide attempt at the age of ten, Robert navigated a complex and hostile world as an autistic, nonverbal boy searching for love, safety, and belonging. To survive, he learned to analyze the world around him, even teaching himself to speak.

In the aftermath of his suicide attempt, he made three decisions that became his guide to creating a life worth living. First, he would turn every negative in his life into a positive. Second, he would be a mom someday, one who loved his children and raised them in a home that was secure and safe. Third, he would be a millionaire, a successful businessman who owned land. Underlying all of these was the understanding that he was gay, attracted to men but committed to not becoming homosexual.

From this beginning, Robert set out on a journey of self-realization, of transformation, and ultimately of fulfillment through his family, his farm, and his faith and membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Born Gay, Not Homosexual is the story of learning to navigate the space between desire and destiny.

Desires are powerful.

Destiny is shaped by who we choose to become.