YOUR CHILD’S REAL ATTACHMENT FIGURE IS AN ALGORITHM — AND IT’S WINNING: How Screens Are Replacing Parents as the Primary Secure Base — and What We Must Do to Take It Back (Dr. RAD™ Expose' Series)

The New Attachment Figure No Parent Saw Coming
I sat in my office watching a six-year-old boy I’ll call Marcus. He had been adopted at age three from a neglectful and chaotic home. When something upset him — a transition, a limit, or even a small disappointment — he used to do what most young children with trauma histories do: he would melt down, push away, or freeze. His adoptive mother would move toward him, offering co-regulation the way we teach in therapeutic parenting.
But on this day, something had changed. Marcus became dysregulated over a simple request to put away his toys. Instead of turning toward his mother or even toward me, he reached for the tablet sitting on the coffee table. Within seconds he was swiping, tapping, and completely checked out. His breathing slowed. His body relaxed. The meltdown never came.