Caregiving from the Heart: Tales of Inspiration

"[These] shared stories help us to navigate the maze of emotion that can be at once tearful and ebullient, gut wrenching and heartwarming. The stories cover moments large and small and often address elder issues of pressing concern -- from depression to loss of mobility and even to last chance romance. ...The stories speak of agony and surprise -- of joy and despair -- but most of all, of discovery. 'Caregiving from the heart' is like having a support group in your own home." -- back cover.

Riverside Drive on Manhattan’s West Side was the scene of Roberta and Riki’s first encounter. They were six and seven months old when their mothers, Sara and Ruth, wheeled their carriages and compared notes. There was much gossiping and gurgling. After a period of years, Roberta and Riki lost contact until after both Sara and Ruth were widowed. Robert and Riki reconnected in college and have been friends ever since and now are the ones comparing notes.

Although they live on opposite coasts (New York and San Francisco) they keep in close touch. Most visiting is done on the telephone and many conversations have covered moments in their mother’s lives, dealing with experiences from the ravages of Alzheimer’s disease and heart surgery to sharing a mother’s joy upon becoming a great grandparent or a mother’s recognition of a daughter’s smile. Sara passed away recently and Ruth still lives independently.

For Roberta, who teaches at N.Y.U., the book began with a sudden explosion of crimson blossoms on a brittle dried Christmas cactus plant sitting on her windowsill. The plant became a symbol of hope and surprise and helped Roberta to see the beauty that still filled her mother’s life. Riki, struck by Roberta’s spirit in the face of her mother’s long illness, suggested that she share her story. Many more joined the circle and Caregiving From The Heart: Tales Of Inspiration was born. All the stories are drawn from true experience; some are told in the caregiver or recipient’s voice, others have been transcribed from interviews. In some cases, names have been changed. Their book is for anyone who has ever felt blessed, burdened, triumphant or terrified, traveling this road where at any turn heartwarming can become heartbreaking.

Riki Intner is a marriage, family and child counselor in private practice in San Francisco and is the co-author of five other books.

Riki and Roberta's gratitude goes to all the caregivers and recipients of care who shared their stories, to those who gave their time and guidance to this project, to our families and all those who helped us see that big returns can come in small moments.