Chasing Control: From Bottle to Death to Life

What if everything you did to keep your life from falling apart was the very thing tearing you apart?

Kyle Layne wanted nothing more than an ordinary life. A loving family, a promising career, a marriage to his college sweetheart. He had everything he was encouraged to pursue, and enough outward evidence to convince himself—and hopefully everyone around him—that everything was fine.

But beneath it all, Kyle was growing to despise the man living it.

Alcohol offered relief he couldn't imagine living without, yet refused to admit he needed. It quieted his mind, numbed his self-hatred, and gave him the fleeting sense of control he so desperately craved. But every failed attempt to control his drinking deepened his shame, and every return to alcohol offered another temporary escape from the man he was becoming.

As shame led to isolation, hiding the truth became an all-consuming obsession of its own. The people who loved Kyle knew he was struggling. But he worked tirelessly to hide the true depth of the hell he was living through.

The harder he fought for control, the closer he came to losing everything—including his life.

In a final lunge of desperation, Kyle entered rehab fearful, beaten down, and unable to imagine a life without alcohol. What followed was the gift of a life he never believed possible when he walked through those doors.

What Kyle believed would be the greatest fight of his life was only the beginning. The foundation he built through recovery would soon face a test beyond anything he could have imagined.

Kyle Layne is a speaker and writer who created the Chapter 3 Stigma podcast that established him as an advocate for addiction recovery. The body of work later grew into More Than Capable, a podcast, newsletter, and community where ordinary human experiences are examined by exploring the intersection of recovery, grief, suffering, faith, and resilience. Kyle lives in Idaho with his family. He aims to live his life in pursuit of truth, honesty, and authenticity.