Conversations from the Fucking Future

From Laser Yoga Media!Unicorns...holographic penises....pleasure helmets....a bucket of steamed mussels..THIS is the future of SCI-FI!


In the future... Technology and Space travel are incredibly advanced and people's lives are so easy and free from hard work. The only problem is because of that, the more recessive traits in people's brains begin to express themselves in social settings..

SAMPLE CHAPTER
7: Best friends Forever


Hello?
Jason, hey what's up dude?
Not much, just trying to get over this ridiculous fucking flu that won't go away, you?
Well, I just got off the phone with Ed.
Ed?, What? I thought you don't like him? didn't you slash his tires last week?
Yeah, but he doesn't know I did it. anyway, I did a reversal and invited him over for dinner.
What? That's pretty fucked up.
No it's not, stop being a lizard dick!
I am NOT being a lizard dick! You are!
Whatever. Did you hear what's happening on the mars base?
No. What happened?
I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.
No dude, nothing I think. Are you doing face-cocaine again?
NO, if it's any of your business, I can't find any that I can afford. anyways I probably should stop, last time I got high I paid this sick homeless guy with the flu to lick my friend's doorknob. Crazy shit.
Huh? That sounds.....hey, what was this 'friend's' name by the way?
Jason, why?
Asshole! That's ME, What the fuck!!!??!
Uh...... it's not you, it was a different jason. You've never met him.
Fuck you dude! How about this, lose my fucking number, go to hell.
Where is this aggression coming from?
From you asshole! I was sick for 3 weeks! I thought I was gonna die!
And aren't you happy you got better?
I'm hanging up. Fuck you.
Ha-ha, wanna get lunch tomorrow?