Conversion Therapy Dropout

Winner of the 2026 Kirkus Indie Awards in Memoir

"An unflinching account of finding a faith that fits." --Publishers Weekly

"A compelling journey of faith, healing, and finding purpose." --Kirkus Reviews

A gay Christian's behind-the-scenes account of evangelical megachurches and eight years in conversion therapy before finding wholeness and authenticity.

Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez was an invisible architect behind evangelical Christianity's digital empire, crafting messages of belonging for some of the most influential megachurches--Hillsong Church, Elevation Church, Willow Creek--all while secretly questioning his own place within the faith.

In a desperate attempt to "fix" himself, he turned to conversion therapy, spending eight years trying to pray the gay away. And he wasn't alone. More than 700,000 people in the US have undergone some form of conversion therapy. Even though Exodus International, the largest ex-gay organization, closed in 2013, the practice still thrives in many conservative religious communities. After years of this harmful "therapy," Schraeder Rodriguez's sexuality never changed. But his faith did.The more time he spent in evangelical Christianity, the more he witnessed the hypocrisy of institutions that claimed to love everyone while quietly pushing people like him into silence. But Schraeder Rodriguez wouldn't remain silent. Instead, he forged a new path, discovering a vibrant faith beyond the constraints of non-affirming theology and finding a community that embraced his whole self.

Conversion Therapy Dropout is a behind-the-scenes look at megachurch culture, the hidden harm of non-affirming Christian spaces, and the ongoing impact of conversion therapy on gay Christians. This isn't just a coming-out story--it's about what happens after. About rebuilding a life outside the only world you've ever known. And the radical act of stepping into the light after being told your whole life to stay in the shadows. Sometimes, the greatest act of faith isn't holding on--it's letting go.

Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez spent almost a decade trying to "pray the gay away" in conversion therapy--all while working at some of the world's most influential megachurches. After embracing his identity as a gay Christian and stepping away from church work, he co-founded Church Clarity, an organization that helps queer people find affirming faith communities. His story and work have been featured by NBC, VICE, Huff Post, Religion News Service, and Newsweek. Born in the Midwest, he now calls New York City home, where he continues his work as a digital strategist, writer, and advocate for queer people of faith.

Shauna Niequist is the New York Times best-selling author of seven books, including I Guess I Haven't Learned that Yet and Present Over Perfect. Shauna and her husband, Aaron, and their sons, Henry and William, live in New York City. Shauna is an avid reader and traveler, and a passionate gatherer of people, especially around the table.