'I WAS THERE WITH THESE TWO GIRLS ONCE; THEY WERE STRIPPERS. THEY SAID 'DAVE, WE'D LIKE YOU TO GO UPSTAIRS, THE TWO OF US, WITH YOU. ' SO I SAID, 'OKAY'. IT WAS ANGUS, AND IT WAS HOT AND SWEATY AND HUMID, AND WE COMMENCED TO DELIVER THE GROCERIES AT 138 BEATS PER MINUTE OR MORE. ONE OF THE GIRLS HAD $1500 IN SINGLES AND FIVES AND TENS, HER END-OF-THE-WEEK TIPS AND PAY AND EVERYTHING IN HER G-STRING. NOBODY NOTICED, YOU KNOW, WHEN THE G-STRING CAME UNDONE -- WELL, I NOTICED -- NOBODY NOTICED THE MONEY, LIKE, FLOATING AROUND. I WOKE UP AT SOME POINT AROUND DAWN, THE TWO OF THEM WERE ASLEEP, AND ALL THREE OF US WERE COVERED WITH MONEY, EVERY SQUARE INCH OF SKIN HAD A DOLLAR BILL PASTED TO IT -- THERE WAS NOTHING BUT. THE WHOLE BED WAS COVERED WITH BILLS. OUR BODIES WERE COVERED WITH BILLS. THERE WAS BILLS IN MY UNDERWEAR. TAKE A LITTLE PICTURE OF THAT. ' So begins perhaps the ultimate rock autobiography. Throughout the late-seventies and eighties Van Halen were the archetypal American rock group. Whats more they were also the highest paid band in the history of show business, taking a cool $1 million for a night's work at a festival in 1983 and making the Guiness Book of Records.

Review

... it is only in this aw-what-the-freak frame of mind that you should attempt Roth's autobiography, Crazy from the Heat. Don't come to this table expecting polite discourse, ... just sit back and suck down outlandish anecdotes from a semi-charmed life.... The 800-pound guerrilla style of the narrative (the F-word appears twice in the first paragraph) spares no detail from his straight-outta-Hollywood beginnings: He saw his first psychiatrist for being "superactive" when he was 6 years old; had read the Koran and Lenny Bruce's How to Talk Dirty and Influence People by the time he was 13; and had oral sex in 10th grade (while watching Buddy Hackett on The Tonight Show!). -- Entertainment Weekly

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