I Cried, You Didn't Listen: A First Person Look at a Childhood Spent Inside CYA Youth Detention Systems

From abused child; to child abuser; to murderer; to prison minister!

"I CRIED, YOU DIDN'T LISTEN IS THE MOST POWERFUL TALE OF HORROR WITHIN THE WALLS OF PENAL INSTITUTIONS SINCE 'PAPILLON.' THE TERRIFYING ASPECT IS THAT IT DESCRIBES AMERICA'S JUVENILE SYSTEM" - Alden Mills, ARETE MAGAZINE

"THE AUTHOR'S WELL-WRITTEN STORY COMES AT THE READER FAST AND FURIOUSLY; SHOCKING READERS INTO AN AWARENESS OF THE INHUMANITY OF AMERICA'S JUVENILE PENAL INSTITUTIONS."- PUBLISHERS WEEKLY

"I CRIED, YOU DIDN'T LISTEN IS A POWERFUL INDICTMENT OF A SYSTEM THAT MAY HAVE LOST TRACK OF ITS PURPOSE."- Don Davis, THE SAN DIEGO UNION

An early Winner of the "Project Censored" Award of Excellence"; I Cried, You Didn't Listen is a powerful story. It is shocking, haunting and brutal. Although it is a rare and valuable document, what is exceptional is not Dwight Abbott's experience, but his clarity and courage in sharing that experience.

Dwight tells the disturbing tale of a very young child, first committed to the care of the state because of family tragedy and bad luck. Once institutionalized, he must learn to live within the cruel dynamics of a system that grants power through violence and leaves children at the mercy of predatory adults. He is continually faced with the need to choose between dehumanizing options: Be predator or be prey. Even in Dwight's description of racialist violence we see the effect that the social system has had on him – cementing stereo-types and prejudices that become self-fulfilling prophesy.

Dwight's account is terrifying. Upon reading it, one must recognize that, faced with the stark choice between victimizing another and being a victim oneself, the morals and values that make sense in freedom fall away. Perpetrating violence appears as the best option for self-preservation. This is the fundamental dynamic at work in Dwight's institutional life. I Cried, You Didn't Listen shows that, within incarcerating institutions, violence in all its forms – sexual assault, cliques, crews, gangs, emotional abuse – is essentially about power and control both over and above one’s own sense of self. -Books not Bars

"THIS IS A SEARINGLY HONEST BOOK - READ IT IF YOU HAVE THE COURAGE. DWIGHT EDGAR ABBOTT'S STORY WILL REVEAL MORE ABOUT THE SELF-FUELING HORRORS OF INCARCERATION THAN WOULD TEN OF THE AVERAGE CRIMINOLOGY TEXTS. FOR YEARS THIS BOOK HAS CIRCULATED AS AN ALMOST CULT UNDERGROUND DOCUMENT, A SIMPLE KEY TO EXPLAINING THE COMPLEX WRETCHED MESS THAT IS THE AMERICAN CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM." - Christian Parenti; American investigative journalist; writer of many widely published articles and author of: "LOCKDOWN AMERICA," "THE SOFT CAGE" AND "THE FREEDOM."

"SADLY, DWIGHT'S EXPERIENCE ECHOES THE STORIES OF THE THOUSANDS OF YOUNG PEOPLE STILL WAREHOUSED AND DEHUMANIZED IN CALIFORNIA, BUT ALSO SERVES POWERFUL TESTAMENT TO THE NEED FOR A 180 DEGREE SHIFT IN HOW WE DEAL WITH YOUNG PEOPLE IN TROUBLE." - Van Jones, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, ELLA BAKER CENTER FOR HUMAN RIGHTS

Dwight Abbott is currently serving Four 25 year to life; terms at The California Health Care Facility in Stockton. He was raised and trained by the California Youth Authority, from the age of nine. This prepared him to continue his adult life in various penal institutions and penitentiaries throughout California and Oregon. Places include: Preston Castle, Paso De Robles, Deules, San Quentin, Folsom, Salinas Valley State Prison, Pelican Bay and many unmentioned. He is a hardened veteran of the Aryan Brotherhood among others. He is now an accomplished author of "I Cried, You Didn't Listen" and "CONSEQUENCE", the aftermath. He presently is showcasing his books and short stories on Ebay and www.DwightAbbott.com. His sole remaining Purpose in this life is to have one more young 'rebel' write him and say that Sonny's book had a part in a change of heart; thus avoiding the Path that Sonny took. To: All the children who shared with me the suffering of physical, mental, sexual and emotional brutality. To those very same boys I met again as an adult, while I served time in Soledad, San Quentin, Folsom and in Oregon state and Washington state penitentiaries. To the many I have watched slaughtered on those prisons' yards, and to those who went on to kill - three of whom I wrote to often until they were executed by the state that raised them. To all the incarcerated children, who because of cruel physical beatings, sexual molestations and mental manipulations, become society's outcasts and nonconformists; not because they are bad children but because they have become products of the system. To the children who are - and will be - growing up as I did, filled with shame and guilt, unable to speak with any member of a society that refuses to lift its head from the sands of ignorance and denial. To the future victims of these victims. To the following men: George Jackson, shot and killed by guards at San Quentin; Billy Cook, murdered at San Quentin; Gary Gilmore, executed by the state of Utah; Tony Zamore, murdered at San Quentin; Wallace Michael Ford, murdered at Vacaville; Dennis Dimmick, murdered at Vacaville; Jimmy Trembly, murdered at Soledad; Kenny West, shot and killed during a bank robbery; "Joker" Jones, murdered by prison guards at San Quentin; "Wop", murdered by inmates at San Quentin; Jason, poisoned at Oregon State Penitentiary; and to Charles Manson, a friend whose soul was killed by the System. I dedicate this book. - Dwight Abbott