Synopsis
My Mom and I didn’t start out to write a book. She was keeping journals of Dad’s behavior and medications because she is a nurse, and that’s what nurse’s do. I was writing down my experiences with Dad more as therapy for myself than anything else. Later we decided to pull all of it together and this is the result. The book will bring you through the experiences we had with my Grandpa’s Alzheimer’s and my Dad’s Dementia. It tries to show what it’s like to be a part of the downward spiral and the things that caused us anxiety, pain and joy. We also tried to talk about some of the more sensitive topics surrounding Dementia and Alzheimer’s. For example, money and who should pay for care, violent behavior and why it occurs, and sex in the retirement home (mentioned sex in hopes that maybe more people will read our story). Below is some of the feedback we have received on our book. • I really liked the two different perspectives. The concept of sharing the experiences of the son and the mother is a good one. • You have a very moving story to tell. My favorite thing about your story is that it is such a sad and complex issue, but you manage to keep a great sense of humor throughout. I really enjoyed reading this. • Your analogies of Gaydar and the Indian Caste system are great ways to get readers to understand what you are trying to convey. Insightful and Profound. • The advice for someone with dementia drove me nuts. It is so sad. • I thought the advice and prayer chapters were excellent. • Love the Demdar--so true, and funny, in its grim way. Also loved the advice to the family and the advice to the dementia sufferer. • Talk about a heart wrenching story. It’s helpful getting both perspectives. • Emotional impact palpable without violins or self-absorption. • Your love for you Dad comes pouring through – it is heartening to read. The hunting scenes were vivid. • This story hit a nerve as my Dad suffered a stroke. We dealt with some similar issues. What you wrote is heartfelt and I think many people will relate. • Your humor infuses your stories with warmth and poignancy. • There is a tension between the past and present and your efforts to preserve both. • That is truly a gut-wrenching story. I know what it is like to watch your father deteriorate before your own eyes and your story brought back many memories. I try to think of my dad when he was young, healthy and vivacious but for me it is difficult to get past the way I saw him last. Sorry, I am blubbering but you stirred up a lot of emotions in me. • Just always remember. There are a lot of guys who never took that last hunting trip with their dad and will forever wish that they had. You did. I hope you enjoy reading our book.
Reviews
KIRKUS REVIEW As dementia claims a Midwestern man’s mind, his wife and son record the experience in this memoir. Dementia slowly crept into Donny Larson’s life. By the time he went hunting in 2005 with his friends and son, he was already battling forgetfulness and mood swings. After Donny got lost in the forest and his son found him shivering and soaked, the younger Larson, Mike, realized this would be the last hunt of his dad’s life, for everyone’s safety. The hunt story, which opens this debut work, serves as the perfect metaphor for the larger tale of Donny’s descent into dementia and the challenges, heartbreak and—occasionally—hope he and his family found in the experience. Initially, Donny’s Minnesotan family noticed him injuring himself and growing more forgetful, but they worked around it to keep him at home. However, after a violent episode in 2007, his wife struggled to find a nearby facility willing to take him, then she wrestled with practical issues as well as emotional ones—especially after Donny was eventually moved into the same facility where his own mentally unsound mother still lived. Donny’s wife and son write in sincere, frank tones, discussing with a surprising amount of openness topics such as incontinence, saving money for nursing home care, drugs, their Lutheran faith and the concept of “best care”—the realistic balance of care and sacrifice. The love and patience offered by Donny’s wife is evident on every page, and readers will empathize with her as her husband’s health declines. Likewise, her son’s combination of frustration, sadness and resignation is understandable, particularly when he mentions how he doesn’t mind caring for his kids since they will grow up and become independent, but his father “was never going to recover and his needs kept growing.” A family chronicles their patriarch’s dementia…without flinching and with a lot of heart. Program:Kirkus Indie Review Posted Online:Jan. 14th, 2014 Kirkus Reviews Issue:Feb. 15th, 2014
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