The Diva Code: Miss Piggy on Life, Love, and the 10,000 Idiotic Things Men Frogs Do

Take, for example, Miss Piggy's insights on a few of the idiotic things men frogs do...

HE'S JUST NOT READY TO COMMIT--You give him the pleasure of your company (plus untold hours of prep time) and in return he's not willing to commit to anything. Mention a romantic getaway, a steady and exclusive dating policy, a long-term relationship, marriage . . . and he runs for the exit!
WHAT VOUS NEED TO DO: The best defense is a good offense, which means that you must never give up trying to make him commit. Remember: Never stop being offensive.

HE'S STATUS OBSESSED--It's all about the label, the fancy car, the platinum-encrusted watch, the vacation place in Gstaad, and the showy perks.
WHAT VOUS NEED TO DO: Give moi his number.

HE'S A NARCISSIST--This guy can usually be found at the gym defining his triceps, biceps, bicuspids, you name it. And when he's not pumping iron, he's primping in front of the mirror--tweezing, conditioning, moisturizing, and otherwise invading your personal grooming space.
WHAT VOUS NEED TO DO: Ask yourself if he's such a hunk that he's worth it. If so, get more mirrors. If not, dump him . . . but get more mirrors anyway. After all, narcissism isn't a bad thing if it's about vous.

Miss Piggy joined the cast of the Muppets in 1976 as a member of the chorus line on the very first episode of The Muppet Show. By the second episode, she was the star, and the Muppets' resident chanteuse, femme fatale, and frog amour. Her long career has included all six theatrically released Muppet feature films, both made-for-TV movies, television specials, videos, records, her own fragrance (Moi!), as well as best-selling books and the occasional outrageous scandal. As of this writing, she is still waiting for the Academy to come to its senses and honor her.