Still Doing It

"Still Doing It: Women & Men Over 60 Write About Their Sexuality" expands our vision of sexuality beyond youth, deepening our understanding of how we grow sexually. These intimate accounts give all of us permission to seek lifelong sexual pleasure that can continue and get better indefinitely, and with infinite variety.

On seeing a beautiful woman, a ninetysomething Oliver Wendell Holmes is said to have commented, "Oh, to be 70 again!" The writers (60-plus to 80-plus) of Still Doing It all enjoy a rich sexual life. Some write about sex with a longtime partner and how they use fantasy, costume, videos, and sex toys to keep their relationships new. Some have multiple partners (including a few who "swing"), or describe their search for partners. Some choose self-pleasuring.

Be forewarned that these erotic stories are extremely graphic, with take-no-prisoners descriptions of body parts, arousal techniques, connections, positions, and releases. The writers' sexual orientations are an assortment of straight, gay, and bisexual. Some are into bondage and discipline and sadomasochism. What makes these stories different from usual erotic literature is that age is a major player. Whether the writer is having sex after heart surgery, self-conscious about a wrinkly stomach hanging down, making love without an erection, experiencing leg cramps in certain positions, or worrying about the dentures ("What do I do with them when my lover's staying overnight?"), age is an unabashed participant in the sex act. Yet despite the challenges, most report that sex after 60 is the best they've ever had.

The stories are full of emotion, love, mature understanding, and consideration for self and partner, as well as descriptions of sex acts. "Most important, we love each other and still love doing it," writes an 81-year-old man. "I am getting hornier as I age, not less so," says a 60-year-old woman who discovered "crashing orgasms" at 55. "A day without sex is a mistake," insists a 66-year-old woman. Many of these writers treat their aging with humor: "We had to do it twice when we couldn't get out of the tub."

Editor Joani Blank (who's over 60 herself) is a sex therapist/educator who has been a sex-positive crusader since the early 1970s. She started Down There Press, wrote nine books on sexuality, and opened San Francisco's Good Vibrations sex-toy store for women. Open-minded readers over 60 will find a sense of camaraderie and plenty of good, erotic pleasure from these stories. Younger readers will see their elders in a new way, and look forward to their later years differently! --Joan Price